


The Saddest Song I've Got

by quantumkaworu



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - College/University, Dubious Consent, Eating Disorders, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, GingKite, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mutual Pining, Near Death Experiences, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Recreational Drug Use, School, Self-Harm, Sexual Abuse, Suicide, Teacher-Student Relationship, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-08-14 04:24:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 40,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7998505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quantumkaworu/pseuds/quantumkaworu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remembering something I forgot</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. If you want to burn yourself

**Author's Note:**

> re posted after being looked over again. another trans weed smoking kite

How early was it again? It was half past noon, but the overworked and underpaid teacher’s assistant had been up since 7 am preparing for the new school year. He was hoping this job would help him fund his research project but he was wondering if it was worth it. As the classroom started to fill in, he took a look over to see what he was up against. He noticed some cute girls that were looking at him, and he recognized their type right away. They were just taking this class for a credit and would ultimately come to him for tutoring. He didn’t even have to try and the women would come to him. He smirked and sat at his desk next to the teacher’s, Isaac Netero, an old geezer who was more interested in watching how people fail than help them pass.

  
“Ging, did you print out the roster?” Mr. Netero said.

  
“It’s in your hand,” Ging replied. He didn’t like Isaac, but he respected him.

  
“Oh, right. Make notes on pronunciation for me,” Isaac smiled and turned to address the class. “Welcome, everyone. This is Kappese 300. I hope you are all in the right place, but we will find out. When I call your name please raise your hand, and feel free to correct me on pronunciation. Ah…” He put on a small pair of reading glasses and read from the list. Ging marked down if they were present and if they went by a nickname. Most of the students were from the Yorbian Continent so it was pretty straight forward to how it was said. “Phan Kita?” There was a stifling silence. “ Is there a Kita here?”

  
There was a grumble from the seats and a long hand was raised.

  
“Kite. Like what you fly in the sky,” a whispered voice said. Ging looked up and saw a thin woman with long white hair hanging around her body. She was wearing long pants and a turtleneck which was unusual for a Yorbian summer. She peeked out from under the hat she was hiding from to gauge their reaction. Ging drew the diamond shaped toy next to her name as a reminder. Isaac continued down the list and she seemed relieved. Ging could tell straight away that she was not from around here, and felt a bit of a connection as he was a foreigner as well. He thought about how long it took people to spell Freecss right.

  
The weeks flew by and the students were getting their tests back. As per usual, everyone did awful, but no one seemed to care. Ging called it a day and started packing his things when he heard Isaac talking to someone outside the door. As he got closer he could decipher what they were saying.

  
“I really want to do well in this class, and my first test didn’t go so well. Could you recommend a tutor?” Kite towered over most of the passerbys. Her words were dry and rehearsed.

  
“As a matter of fact, I have the perfect person for you!” Isaac pulled on Ging’s arm before he could slip through the door unnoticed. “That’s what you’re here for, right, Ging?” Isaac laughed but Ging was unamused.

  
“Yeah, yeah,” Ging rolled his eyes. He glanced at his watch impatiently. “Do you have some place to be soon? We could talk right now and set up a schedule.”

  
Kite picked at their nails nervously. “That works for me.”

  
“Walk with me,” Ging ushered the shy student along with his arm. They sat inside in one of the skylight area next to the communal printers. The chairs were bucket shaped and seemed to suck people in. They found two spots by the window next to someone who was already asleep. “Kite, correct?”

  
“Yes. I didn’t get your name…” Kite sounded embarrassed over something so small.  
“Ging is fine,” He smiled to try and alleviate their obvious uneasiness. Kite responded in a full smile that dimined to a half smirk as a way to play it cool. Kite was cute in Ging’s eyes and her skittishness added to it. He was reminded of some dopey romance movie where the cheerleader ends up with the nerd boy. He reached out for their syllabus and started scribbling on it. “I’m available during office hours but if that doesn’t work with your schedule I can also meet on the weekends at any time.”

  
Kite’s foot was shaking under the table. He was so intimidated when men talked to him, his brain was so focused on how he sounded, his posture, mannerisms, everything that would give him away that he often got lost in the conversation.  
“Tuesday works,” He said.

  
“Alright, how does 4 pm sound? You can pick the place,” Ging said.

  
“If it’s not too much trouble, my apartment has a lounge we could use. It’s right on campus too. It’s quiet and has a whiteboard,” Kite muttered.  
“Sure, just write down your building. I’ll forget it if you tell it to me,” Ging got out a sticky note and pen. He noticed how daintily Kite held the pen like he would break it if he used any pressure. “Are you in one of the all girl housings?”

  
Kite held his breath. He could feel his binder tighten across his chest, making itself more obvious.

  
“I’m a boy…” He said quietly, almost not wanting to be heard.

  
“Oh, that was rude of me. I’m not used to seeing boys who are so…” Ging paused, looking for the right word. Kite had not looked up since he finished writing, yet he still held the pen and notepad. Kite was waiting for whatever word would hang in his head all day. “So gentle. Most dudes I know are all about pumping iron and getting girls. It’s refreshing to meet someone like you.”

  
Kite perked up. Refreshing? Gentle? I was expecting more along the lines of ‘sissy’ or ‘feminine’.

  
Ging took the pen and paper away from Kite, accidently brushing their hands together. His student’s skin tone was about 20 shades lighter than his own and his fingers were slender.

  
Soft, Ging thought, taken aback by the subtle beauty of this man.

  
“I’ll see you then, I have to go get ready for class,” Kite stood up abruptly, nodded, and whisked away. All Ging saw was his dark eyes followed by a curtain of white hair.

  
He smelled nice too, Ging blushed at his weird thoughts, thankful no one else could hear them.

  
Kite came through the door in a rush and sat on the couch. His roommate, a pathology major, was used to this kind of entrance. She learned to just let him work through it. A white ball of fur hobbled in on its three legs to greet their master. He let a hand dangle and the cat brushed up against him with their butt in the air.

  
“Come here, Pitou,” Kite said, picking up the cat who meowed in response. He gave her kisses and buried his face in her belly. “Cheadle, I have a problem.”

  
Kite’s roommate shifted her eyes suspiciously.

  
“It must be serious for you to come to me about it,” Cheadle sat up, her small body overwhelmed in the beanbag on the floor.

  
“I got a tutor for my Kappese class but something went terribly wrong and he’s really attractive,” KIte covered his face with the cat again, who had no objections.

  
“Kappese class? Are you talking about Ging Freecss?” Cheadle sounded disappointed. Kite nodded. “He is an old dirty man, you can do so much better. Besides he hangs out with the crypt keeper Netero all the time, so you know they just ogle chicks during test periods and make lewd jokes. I had him in a chemistry class, he was the only senior in a freshman class and he was an absolute fool. They probably just passed him so they wouldn't have to worry about him mixing chemicals again. You’re not listening to me are you?”

  
Kite nodded vaguely.

  
“I think you’re forgetting something important, like he’s the straightest boy you’ll ever meet,” Cheadle rolled her eyes, she knew that Kite was smitten. Kite’s demeanor sunk as he realized who he was again.

  
“He thought I was a girl, but I corrected him. I shouldn’t have said anything, I mean I am a girl anyway,” Kite let Neferpitou slink out of his hands and scamper away. Cheadle got up and patted him on the shoulder like a caring mother.

  
“No man is worth sacrificing your gender identity for,” Cheadle tousled his hair. “Especially that shitstain of a man.”

  
Tuesday came and Kite waited in the lounge looking over the assignments and making sure he had questions. He was terrified of wasting Ging’s time. Ging came in and sat down right away with a cup of coffee.

  
“Sorry I’m late, Isaac likes to have me do everything and then take the credit,” Ging turned the chair around and straddled it, leaning his arms on the backrest. “Did you understand the assignment?”

  
Shitstain. Shitstain. He’s a shitstain. Kite thought. He was trying to convince himself that Ging was what Cheadle described.

  
“Yeah, there were just a few grammar concepts I didn’t understand,” He handed Ging the paper and he looked it over. Ging glanced over the paper at Kite’s idle face. He was looking out the window at the cloudy day.

  
“Do you always wear glasses?” Ging added, his voice taking Kite off guard.

  
“Wha- Oh. Only when I read,” Kite tied his hair back to keep it out of his face. Ging smiled behind the paper.

  
Cute, he thought.

  
“You’re not from around here are you?” Ging asked curiously.

  
“Is it that obvious?” Kite became self conscious again, wondering what all he was giving away.

  
“No, I’m just a little more keen than most. I’m guessing you’re from Kakin?”

  
Kite turned his head.

  
“How did you know?”

  
Ging tapped the paper.

  
“Your sentence structure is off. Most Yorbian’s have no problem with the subject-verb-object form of Kappese, but you’re writing subject-object-verb of Kakinese. That’s probably why your test was so bad. You seem to be understanding vocabulary very well. We’ll worry about pronunciation a different day. Finish this worksheet and I’ll check your work.”

  
Kite was unsure if Ging thought less of him because he was foreign, but Ging didn’t exactly fit into the mold either. His accent was subtle but distinguishable.

  
“You’re not from here too, am I right?” Kite felt out of place questioning someone above him like that, but Ging welcomed it as friendly conversation.

  
“Ha, not a lot of people catch that. You’re right, I’m from Whale Island,” Ging watched Kite write and offered a few pointers along the way. “What’s your majour?” Ging asked when his student was finished.

  
“Biology major and an anthropology minor,” Kite smiled. “Don’t laugh, but I want to be the person who goes into the jungle and discovers new species and talks to the tribal people about their life. I think that’s so interesting to see how people live outside our own concrete maze. There’s so much of the world out there that a lot of people don’t see, and I think it would help us understand where we came from and where we’re going.” Kite looked at Ging, who was resting his head in his hands in a dazed looked. “Sorry to ramble,” Kite returned to making himself small, which being almost 6 ft was hard. What Kite saw as boredom in Ging’s eyes was actually adoration.

  
“No, keep going. I completely agree. I’m actually going to my field research in NGL studying the people and architecture once I finish my graduate program here,” Ging smiled. Kite’s shell seemed to be breaking a bit once he started talking about what he cared about. The excitement in his eyes reminded Ging so much of himself when he was that age. “Do you have another class today? We could go get something to eat and talk.”

  
“No, I’m free. There’s a really good eatery just around the corner that has really good french fries!” Kite’s heart was shaking in his chest. His delight caused his voice to heighten and crack. Ging chuckled as he found it adorable. They walked together to the eatery and split a large order of fries and some burgers. Kite was stuffing his face while talking about all the documentaries he’s seen with an occasional interjection by Ging. They talked about some of their theories on cultures and methods and had some playful side notes about modern culture. Kite went to grab another fry only to realize they had eaten them all. He looked down at his plate and realized he had eaten two burgers, God knows how many fries, and a milkshake. He could feel his clothes touching his skin with his expanded stomach. He made eye contact with Ging, who saw the panic in his eyes.

  
“Are you okay? You don’t look so good, let me walk you back to your apartment,” Ging hesitantly, touched Kite’s shoulders and he winced away.

“It’s okay, I’ll help you,” Ging put his hand around his waist to help him up and Kite’s body seized up.

  
“Don’t!” Kite yelled. Only a few people even bothered to turn their head, but Kite felt like everyone was staring at him. He grabbed his phone and called Cheadle. “I’m sorry,” he croaked.

  
Cheadle sighed on the other end.

  
“Are you at the eatery?” She asked.

  
“Yeah,” Kite’s guilt sat like a rock in his stomach.

  
“I’ll be there in a minute,” Cheadle barked and hung up.

  
Ging stood dumbfounded just looking on as Kite curled into a little ball in the chair. He sat close enough that Kite could hear him talk softly but still at a safe distance.

  
“Is there anything I can do?” Ging whispered. Kite stared blankly forward with his hand over his mouth. He was hoping Cheadle would make it in time. He shook his head.

  
“Did I do something?” Ging moved himself into Kite’s stare.

  
“No, it was my fault. I’m sorry I ruined your afternoon,” His voice was emotionless. Cheadle came up from behind Ging and took Kite by the hands leading him back to the apartment. Ging followed closely. He waited outside the door as the two went inside and a few minutes later Cheadle came out.

  
“What did you do?” She snarled, crossing her arms.

  
“I don’t know. Is he ok? We were just talking and all of a sudden he got really pale and started shaking,” Ging was not keen on Cheadle’s attitude. She sighed and dropped her arms.

  
“He has some anxiety problems he was probably just reminded of something while talking. He’ll be fine, I’ll take care of him,” Cheadle opened the door to go back inside.

  
“Tell him I hope he feels better,” Ging said weakly and she closed the door.

  
Ging went back home to his own shoddy room. He walked in the door and saw his roommate in the kitchen wearing next to nothing cooking god knows what.

  
“Haven’t you been hit by a car yet?” He said, grabbing a beer from the fridge and sitting on the couch.

  
“You know, you bitter old man, one day that’s gonna happen and you’re gonna miss me!” The blonde said. “By the way, who were you with? You usually aren’t out this late on a Tuesday. Have you and Netero been picking up chicks again? I think it’s really distasteful.”

  
“Pariston, will you shut your big mouth for a second I’m trying to think and I can’t hear my thoughts over your gums flappin’!” Ging took a drink and stared at the TV. Pariston had been his roommate for a few months now, partly because no one else would want to room with him so any time he tried to pawn him off on someone else he would come right back to annoy Ging. He was a Fashion majour, whatever that meant, and was greedy and flamboyant. It didn’t bother Ging that Pariston was bisexual, what bothered him was he knew that Pariston was thirsting for him that he could hear him salivate every time he left his room.

  
“What’s on your mind?” Pariston said condescendingly. Ging took a huge chug of beer and looked at his reflection in the turned off television.

  
“I think I might be gay,” He said to himself. Pariston immediately stomped into the living room and landed on the couch next to Ging.

  
“Oh, REALLY? Are you finally coming around and realizing we were meant to be?” Pariston posed dramatically with his hand on his forehead. Ging shrugged him off with disgust.

  
“If you were the last man on Earth I’d fuck a dog,” Ging said. “No, there’s this guy in my class, the one I’ve been tutoring. He’s just so cute, you know. Like usually when I talk to girls I’m bored out of my mind but he is into the same stuff I am, and his skin is so soft and when he laughs... “ Ging sighed. “ Not to mention his legs. God, I hope he didn’t realize I was staring but his legs are so long I could just wrap myself in them.”

  
“Are you talking about Kita? With the white hair and the bird nose?” Pariston sounded cruel.

  
“It’s Kite. And he doesn’t have a bird nose!” Ging scowled furiously. His nose is also pretty cute, he thought.

  
“Ugh, you’re not gay. Everyone on campus knows that ‘Kite’ is actually a girl. She’s just pretending to be a boy to get attention and so guys don’t try to hit on her, which I understand why anyone would. She’s one of those girls who has such low self confidence that she’s trying to be someone she’s not.” Pariston went back into the kitchen. “Talk to me when you’re actually gay.”

  
Ging felt sort of relieved, he thought he was too old to have a sexual identity crisis. It made sense to him since guys on campus are more focused on getting laid than good grades. Ging felt bad that she felt so poorly about herself since he thought she was really attractive. He thought maybe if he boosted her confidence she wouldn’t have to hide behind the baggy clothes and fake names.

  
The next Monday Ging walked past Kite’s usually seat.

  
“Hey, pretty girl,” Ging cooed. Kite took an earbud out.

  
“What did you say?” He asked.

  
“You look pretty today,” Ging repeated, leaning on the desk. Kite shifted his eyes back and forth waiting for a TV show host and a camera crew to jump out.

  
“Thanks…?” Kite said suspiciously. Ging smiled and got ready for the beginning of class. While Isaac lectured Ging was busy making a list of ways to compliment Kite, but they all came up super cheesy. After class was over, Ging approached him again. Kite was wearing a pair of loose pants and an oversized university sweatshirt tucked and flats. His hair was pulled into a neat bun, something you would see on a ballet dancer.

  
“Don’t you get hot in all those clothes?” Ging said, following Kite out the door.

  
“I guess,” Kite hadn’t prepared for Ging to talk to him and didn’t have any conversational pieces on hand. He was flattered that Ging was talking to him but told himself not to look too much into it.

  
“You know, I think you’re one of the few girls I’ve seen that can go without wearing makeup and still look good,” Ging smiled warmly, hoping this would help him feel better. Kite was becoming agitated. He thought the first misgendering was just a mistake, but this was a new level. It also bothered him that he was, in fact, wearing makeup to cover his blemishes and to make him look more masculine, which apparently wasn’t working.

  
“Ging, I’m not a girl,” Kite remarked quietly, not wanting to be too make a scene. Ging caught up to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

  
“It’s okay, Pariston told me about your situation. Listen, you don’t have to pretend to be a boy around me, I won’t make a move on you or anything,” Ging started and saw the fire in Kite’s eyes. “Not saying that you aren’t pretty enough, which you are, you’re just not my type.”

  
“Please, stop talking!” Kite huffed and tried to walk faster. “I don’t even know who Pariston is, why is he talking about me?” Ging jogged in front of him and back pedalled to talk to him. Kite had his face buried in his books, red with anger and embarrassment.

  
“Pariston is my roommate. He told me you were actually a girl who had low self esteem so you pretended to be a boy. I’m trying to make you feel better about yourself,” Ging was started to get frustrated as well. “Can’t you take a compliment?!”  
Kite stopped in his tracks.

  
“A compliment? You think that’s a compliment?” Kite shook his head and started heading in a different direction. “I thought you were different.”  
Ging caught him by the crook of his arm.

  
“Hey,” Ging’s grip was harder than he intended and Kite became afraid. Ging saw water dripping onto his books and used his grasp to walk Kite somewhere quiet. They sat down by a window in one of the stairwells. “I didn’t mean to yell.” Ging kept getting quieter. “I’m sorry.”

  
“Do you know what transgender is?” Kite wiped his eyes on his sleeve.

  
“I’ve heard of it,” Ging was about to give him a hug, but thought it best to keep his distance

  
“I’m not a girl dressing like a boy. I’m transgender. Sure, I was born a girl, but I’m trying to transition to be a boy. It’s hard when I’m going to school and have no money and no one believes me like you and whoever Pariston is,” Kite looked out the window at all the people going about their day, carefree, happy, unaware of anything that isn’t in front of them.

  
“I don’t understand,” Ging started. Kite has heard this speech a million times, they don’t understand so they are afraid. It doesn’t happen to them so it doesn’t happen at all. This was what he was hoping of getting away from when he left home. “But I believe you. I’m sorry, Kite.” Ging felt terribly guilty for making Kite feel even worse. His plan had completely backfired. He didn’t know why he listened to Pariston in the first place.

  
“It’s alright, you didn’t know,” They got up and prepared to part ways. “But please, ask me if something like this comes up again. I’d rather have you ask than assume.” Kite felt a little relieved, but knew there was a lot more to this later. He patted Ging’s shoulder as a reassurance before walking away.

  
“Kite,” Ging called before he got down the stairwell. He turned to listen. “You look handsome today.”

  
Kite brushed it off as a joke but when he looked up and saw Ging leaning over the railing, his look struck him like Cupid’s arrow.


	2. If you want to kill yourself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: I changed the timing of some things so it's not so rushed

Life went on as usual for the next few months. The hot summer gave way to the chilly autumn and the green campus all changed to orange. Everything was pumpkin spice again and Kite could wear the clothes he was comfortable in. Each day was a different sweater, usually white or black, and he kept his hair down under his hat. Ging still insisted on wearing shorts and t-shirts all the time, and even on the colder days he refused to wear any footwear but flip flops. He hated the dress clothes he wore during class time so as soon as class was over he would change. Kite and Ging had become less tutor and student and more friends. They hung out almost everyday after class and since Kite was doing so well in the class, skipped the tutorings and went straight to gossip and news. Rumours had started (by Pariston) that Ging and Kite were an item, but no one confronted them about it and no one listened to Pariston anyway. Ging tried to keep Pariston away from Kite to the best of his abilities but he always seemed to be right around the corner. 

“I’m going out,” Ging said, his hand on the door knob. Pariston pouted on the couch.

“Are you going to see  _ her? _ ” He whined. Ging sighed in frustration. He’d been over this a hundred times. 

“No, I’m going on a date tonight with the girl from the coffee place. Don’t wait up for me,” Ging turned and winked at Pariston.

“Oh, you dog. I’m guessing Kite still hasn’t given it to you yet?” Pariston teased. 

“No, you jackass. We’re not like that. He’s a good friend,” Ging rolled his eyes and left before he could make anymore comments. 

The date left a lot to be desired. Even though this was basically a booty call, Ging sort of expected her to bring more to the table than her good looks. She didn’t have anything to say that wasn’t about TV shows he didn’t watch or people he didn’t know so he just nodded while she gabbed on. She wore a tight dress and had large breasts, that was the only thing keeping Ging’s attention. After dinner they got in the car to go back to her place. Ging hadn’t been with anyone since he started hanging out with Kite, so his sexual hunger was pretty famished at this point, but this girl was making him lose his appetite. She got in the front seat and put on her seatbelt, making sure her boobs were apparent. Ging was so bored at this point he wasn’t even paying attention.

“You know,” She started, leaning over the armrest. “I hear you have a reputation for yourself. I’ve heard you can speak a lot of languages and you’ve got a talented tongue. Mind showing me?” She licked her lips seductively and suddenly Ging forgot how bored he was. He started the car and pulled out from the parking lot. 

“You’ll have to wait until we get someplace a little quieter, kitten,” Ging said in a low voice. Girls always ate up the ‘kitten’ line. The girl giggled and slipped a hand onto his thigh. He hadn’t been touched in so long he jumped. 

“Why don’t we just duck into the parking structure,” She pointed down the street to the campus parking structure. That’s where Ging usually parked his car and since she was a freshman she lived on campus anyway. He turned into the parking structure and went to the top floor, no one parked there because they didn’t want to walk all that way to their car. He turned the engine off but left the radio on as he followed her to the backseat. They started making out furiously and ripping each other’s clothes off. Ging performed his infamous oral on her as she gripped on the seat head. 

“I see where you get your reputation from now,” She panted. The sex was over as soon as it began, full of pent up passion but lacking feeling, and before he knew it he was lighting a cigarette as she waved goodbye to him. He got redressed and started his walk of shame back to the apartment when his phone buzzed. He picked up without looking at who it was. 

“Is Kite with you?” The voice screeched on the other end. Cheadle was panicking, which she usually didn’t do. 

“No, it’s 3 AM, he’s probably just hidden in his bed,” Ging replied, blowing out smoke. 

“I’m in his room right now and he’s not here! He said he was going on a date and hasn’t come back yet. I’m worried. He isn’t answering his phone!” Ging could hear Cheadle rifling through blankets on the other end. 

“I’ll try texting him in a minute, calm down his phone is probably just dead,” Ging saw movement from the corner of his eye. The figure moved like a cockroach, swiftly out of the light. “Hold on,” Ging muttered, hanging up. He put the phone in his pocket and silently approached the figure. He saw a shock of white hair glisten against the harsh fluorescent lights before it moved again. A dark silhouette  was outlined against the purple sky,  standing on the ledge of the parking structure. Ging remembered how high up they were right now and panicked when the figure grew larger. Ging reached out and grabbed a sweaty hand. 

“Hey,” He whispered, gently pulling the person towards him, wordlessly begging them to get off the ledge. “What are you doing out so late?”

“I should ask you the same thing,” The person jumped down onto the pavement, their hair floating delicately around them. “But by the smell of shame and cigarettes, I can guess.” Ging shrugged in acceptance. He was those guys that girls wrote heartbroken songs about, and he knew it. Ging was still holding onto his hand and kept a firm hold. 

“What about you?” Ging asked quietly. Kite scoffed and took the cigarette out of Ging’s mouth and took a puff. “I didn’t think you smoked.”

“I don’t,” Kite said with a raspy voice. He couldn’t tell if his friend had been crying, but it sounded like he needed to cry. Ging looked closely at the shadows on his face. There was nothing there, no expression, no pain, Ging couldn’t read him and that made him scared. The smoke billowed out of his mouth and into the air, creating an ethereal look about him.

“Kite,” Ging said sternly, standing shoulder to shoulder with him. Kite didn’t look away from the moon. He forced a smile and shook his head. 

“My boyfriend broke up with me,” Kite muttered. Ging waited a moment, watching Kite bite his lip. “How foolish, right? I told him I was trans,” Kite tucked his loose hair around his ear and Ging saw a red mark spreading across his cheek. Ging gasped and pulled him into a hug. He touched Kite’s cheek gingerly and wiped the few tears that leaked out.

“Who is he, I’ll kill him right now,” Ging growled, the aggression in his voice was counterbalanced with his gentle cradling of Kite’s face.

“It doesn’t matter,” Kite was tired and Ging’s warm hands were comforting. He took a moment to remember what it felt like to have someone care for you. The cigarette burned to the end. “I’m sorry, I wasted a cigarette,” Kite handed it back to Ging who flicked it on the ground and stomped it out. Ging brushed it off. He took out two more cigarettes and handed it to Kite. 

“You need it,” Ging held out the lighter and they lit their cigarettes together. Ging sat back on the ledge and ushered Kite to sit next to him. He put an arm around Kite’s waist as an assurance that he was there. There was a silence between them as they sucked on their cigarettes. Ging was waiting for Kite to talk, and Kite was waiting for Ging to forget this all happened. “Please talk to me,” Ging said, still trying to hold back his anger. Kite sighed closing his eyes. 

“I didn’t mean to ruin your night,” Kite replied. 

“You didn’t,” Ging smirked. “To be honest, I enjoy being with you more than I did with any of the women I’ve been with.” Kite felt Ging pull him closer and was unsure of where this was going. “In a different way, of course.”

“Thanks,” Kite smiled. “My boyfriend thought I was plain.” Kite shifted to lean again Ging. “Is this okay?”

Ging blushed and rubbed his forearm. 

“Yeah. Kite… tell me what’s been going on,” Ging pleaded. Kite took the last drag from his cigarette. 

“I’ve been with my boyfriend since highschool, I met him at the library and he was really cute. I didn’t know how to bring up that I was trans so I didn’t bother with it and I didn’t think it would be a big deal since he seemed to really like me. I thought we would stay together since I kind of…” Kite rubbed his hands together nervously. “I kind of gave my virginity to him. And it was awful. We were both buzzed and it was a messy get together in the back of a car. Pretty low, I know.”

Ging’s face turned red. 

“He would always be handsy with me, and when I told him to stop he would talk about all the other girls he had been with, and how bad I was at sex because that I wouldn’t do the stuff they did. He was always commenting on my weight too, and that I had no ass and the only thing I had going for me was a nice rack. Today I told him I was trans and he got angry and lashed out. He said that I was just confused and I need to stop hanging out with feminists. I told him that I had been trans the whole time and he smacked me and told me I didn’t know what I was talking about. We had sex after that and he made me do stuff I didn’t want to, but I was afraid what would happen if I didn’t cooperate.” Kite paused for a moment and let it all sink in. Ging knew there was more. 

“I was going to jump,” Kite finally said. “I figured things would never change and I didn’t want to live like this anymore, with everyone telling me I wasn’t who I am. I’ve thought about it for a long time. Who could ever love me anyway? I’m a liar and a freak.”

Ging held him tight and buried his face in his hair. 

“Kite,” Ging said calmly. He voice was thick with sorrow. “If you ever feel like this again, please, call me before you do anything. It doesn’t matter what time it is I will always be here for you. Okay?” Ging leaned forward and gave a gentle kiss on his swollen cheek. Kite nodded and moved back into Ging’s arms.After a moment, Kite had fallen asleep, finally feeling safe. Ging put him on his back, his long limbs dangling off of Ging’s smaller body. He carried him back to his dorm. Cheadle was relieved to see that Kite was alright and in relatively safe hands. She pulled out the futon and Ging laid him down, trying not to jostle him too much. Cheadle went to get extra blankets and pillows, but by the time she had come back out, Ging was already asleep too, one arm outstretched onto Kite’s waist. She sighed, her heart softening as she pulled the blankets over them and turned out the light.

He woke up the next afternoon to Pitou pawing at his face. He sat up and followed the trail of streaming silver hair to Kite’s face. Ging noticed how gaunt he was becoming as he brushed his hand along his jawline. He was captivated for a moment by how the light reflected off of the younger man’s smooth and pale skin, like a fresh fallen snow. He felt the sudden urge to lay his lips on him but shook his head and got out of bed. As he tossed the covers aside he heard a little groan and felt the delicate touch of a finger on his hand. He looked back and saw Kite was moving. He stretched his arms and legs and sat up as well. 

“What do you want for breakfast?” Ging smoothed his hair back his black hair and smiled, which entranced Kite. Cheadle was sitting in her usual bean bag chair, watching the two interact. 

“There still might be some coffee left, it is almost 2 pm,” Cheadle added as the guest walked to the kitchen area. Ging looked in the fridge and got out some eggs and cheese and cleaned off a skillet. Kite stood behind Ging and watched him cook. 

“Do you want any bacon?” Ging asked, adding cheese to the omelet he was making. Kite was biting his nails.

“I’m actually a vegetarian,” He said quietly. Ging paused for a moment.

“But we had burgers before?” Ging said, turning the omelet over. 

“It was a veggie burger. Most people react badly when I tell them I’m a vegetarian so I usually try to hide it,” Kite tossed his hair over his shoulder. Ging frowned. 

“Your ex-boyfriend,” Ging stated sourly. He handed the plate of food to Kite who was looking at the ground. “Well, good thing he’s out of your life.” Kite let out a small sigh of relief.

“Yeah. Thanks,” Kite muttered. He had a strange demeanor as he went to the table to eat. Ging made another omelet for himself and sat across from him, watching carefully. His friend poked at the food and took a few bites but was hesitant and ate only the smallest morsel he could pick up. Ging had already finished his coffee and egg before Kite even made a dent. Ging had a knot in his stomach watching Kite eat.

“Is it okay?” Ging commented. Maybe he was reading too far into the situation, but he wanted to make sure. 

“Yeah, it’s delicious. I guess I’m not as hungry as I thought…” Kite put down his fork and drank some of his untouched coffee. Ging didn’t sense any deception in his voice and had to assume the worst. Ging stretched his foot out and put it against Kite’s leg. 

“Hey, it’s okay to eat,” Ging said. “He’s not going to bother you anymore. And if he does, I’ll deal with him.” Kite relaxed his shoulders as a sign of reassurance. Kite picked his fork up again and began eating, this time eating the whole thing. After cleaning up from breakfast they sat around on the couch and watched TV. Kite showed Ging around his room.

“That’s Pitou’s corner over there,” He pointed to the part of the room with a carpeted cat tree and boxes. Kite led Ging over to his desk by the window and gestured toward a clear tank.

“This is Meruem,” Kite added. Ging leaned over and saw a turtle sunning itself on a rock. Kite picked him up by the shell, his stubby legs waving in the air. “He won’t bite. Do you want to feed him?” Ging thought the thing was ugly, and was wary of its claws.

“Uh,” Ging muttered. Kite handed him a piece of lettuce with a big smile and moved Meruem closer. Ging was hesitant but fed the green creature a crunchy leaf.

“Hello?” A shrill voice said. 

Ging jumped, unaware that there was someone else in the room.

“Who is that?” Ging said, still eyeing the malicious look in the reptile’s eyes. 

“Hello? I’m here!” The voice said again. Ging looked around but it was just him and Kite. Kite put Meruem back in his tank, Ging was safe. 

“Honestly, you are so self absorbed,” Kite scoffed, sweeping his hair into a messy bun. Kite dropped his hair tie and bent over to pick it up. Kite’s leggings were very form fitting, and Ging pretended not to notice.  _ God, his ex was a fool to give him up,  _ Ging thought, nonchalantly looking at his feet. A wolf whistle came from the corner of the room, behind Ging. Kite stood up, finishing his hairstyle. He chuckled,looking over his shoulder at Ging. The older man flushed red, his heart in his throat. 

“That wasn’t me! I swear!” Ging moved out of the way as Kite walked by. He walked over to a large box, it was taller than him and from the bottom you could see it was wired like a cage. There was rustling from under the blanket that was laid across it.

“I know, it was this prick,” Kite grabbed the curtain and drew it back. 

“Hello!” A purple bird with a yellow crest jumped on a bar in front of Kite’s face. Newspaper crunched under Kite’s socks. Kite opened the door to the cage and stuck a hand in.

“Wait! That thing will bite your fingers off!” Ging called out. The bird hopped onto Kite’s arm and sat on his shoulder. 

“He’s harmless, he’s all talk,” Kite assured, scratching the bird’s stomach. “This is Shaiapouf. Or Pouf.”

“Pouf! Arr! Pouf!” Shaiapouf fluffed out his feathers and shook his head. 

Ging looked around Kite’s room at all the animals. 

“No offense but it’s a zoo in here,” Ging chuckled. 

“Fuck off!” Pouf said. Ging did a double take and looked at kite completely bewildered. 

“Did he just-” Ging scoffed. 

“Unfortunately, he picks up a lot on what I say. He’s like a little kid. Who’s a pretty bird? Who’s a pretty bird?” Kite rubbed his beak and cooed.Ging felt himself feeling jealous of a bird getting such a gentle touch. He huffed and crossed his arms.

“I dunno he looks kind of dumb to me,” Ging muttered.  

“Watch this,” Kite started bobbing up and down in sort of a half ass attempt at a dance whistling a little tune, with Pouf whistling along and bobbing his head in time.

“Okay, that’s kind of cute…” Ging tilted his head admiring Kite’s stale dance moves.

“Thank you!” Pouf squaked.

“Not you,” Ging stuck his tongue out at the avian creature. Kite blushed at Ging’s compliment. He glanced over at Kite who looked away immediately, afraid he would give himself away. His heart was racing and wasn’t sure if it was an oncoming panic attack or excitement. “Hey, uh,” Ging began. His phone made an obnoxious ringing noise and he scrunched his face in disgust as he looked at the screen. “What?” He barked. Kite was lost in the way that Ging so casually leaned on his door frame, just like in every chick flick movie he sat through with Cheadle. “Ughh, okay. I’ll get there when I get there, jesus,” Ging hung up and put the phone in his pocket. “The TV isn’t working back at my place and I HAVE to fix it now before Pariston’s show starts, so I’ll be heading out.” Kite nodded and started walking Ging towards the door, Pouf still perched on his shoulder. 

“Sorry for ruining your night,” Kite said quietly. Ging walked out the door and turned around. 

“Nothing to apologize for, I hope you feel a little better,” Ging smiled warmly, melting Kite’s heart. 

“Ah, the test is this week right? I might actually need your help Tuesday!” Kite had completely forgotten about the final, he had planned on missing it.

“No problem. Take care of yourself,” Ging said, patting Kite on the shoulder. He turned towards Pouf. “Take care of him, okay?” Ging grinned.

“Fuck off!” Pouf replied. Kite waved as he watched Ging walked down the hall. About halfway down the hall he stopped on his heels and turned around. 

“Hey, I’m having an end of summer party on Friday at my place, would you like to come? Pariston will be there but he’ll be trying to suck every dick on the grounds so he won’t be bothering you. There will be food, booze, and music. It’s not gonna get too wild just some people hanging out and having a good time,” Ging shrugged, trying to hide the fact was really hoping Kite would say yes. “And I’ll be there so if anyone tries to mess with you I’ll give them a whale island necktie!”

Kite was so thrilled to be invited to Ging’s place that he forgot to say anything in reply. 

“Yes!” Pouf screeched.  Kite smiled. 

“Of course,” Kite added.

“Okay, cool. I”ll come by friday at 7 then and pick you up. Sound good?” Ging gave a thumbs up. Kite nodded and repeated the gesture. Kite closed the door with a wide smile on his face. Pouf flew away and rested on the kitchen chair. Cheadle sat on the couch with a sly smirk reading a book. 

“If Ging is a shitstain, then Pariston is the asshole,” Cheadle interjected. “He’s a vicious, blood thirsty creature with a thirst for drama. He’s also got a mad crush on Ging, so I’d keep him close.” Kite was so over the moon went straight to his room and planned what he was going to wear.

Tuesday came, and Kite anxiously waited for the end of class to arrive so he could study with Ging. There was still 20 minutes left and Kite was sure everyone could hear their foot tapping. Netero was passing out the final review, and Kite waited for it to circulate to him. Kite looked over the paper and at the practice exercising and felt a little overwhelmed. Ging remembered when he first admired Kite from a distance 3 months ago, before the snow and the cold, while he was still wearing a sweater in 90 degree heat. Now he was in the front row, and spent half the making faces at him. Kite glanced over at Ging out of habit, and Ging had been waiting. He had been watching Kite the whole time anticipating when he would look over. Kite looked at him with a dumb smile, trying to get him to laugh, but he just smiled and gave a subtle wink. The gesture instantly flustered Kite, who hid behind the paper, only peeking out from it to see if Ging was still looking at him. Kite’s heart was thumping.  _ What was that about? What did it mean? Am I looking too into it? _ He poked his eyes above the paper timidly. Ging was prepare, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Kite turned red again. His head and heart were racing to get out. Ging chuckled and looked down at his phone.

“Well, I guess that’s all today, I’ll let you out a few minutes early,” Isaac sighed and straightened his papers. “Good luck on your exam! Make sure to study!” Ging was quick to situate himself by Kite’s side. He wanted to make a comment on how good he looked today, but wasn’t sure how to word it. He gave him a once over and started getting hot under the collar.  Kite wore a turtleneck and a pair of black overalls with a pair of colourful sneakers. 

“Legs…” Ging started, absolutely mesmerized by Kite’s stilt like appendages which he had never seen before. “Uh, I mean, let’s go find some place to study!” Ging tried to brush it off casually.  

“If it’s not too much trouble, would your place be alright? Cheadle is very anal about studying. Plus I want to get to know your place before the party. It will help with my anxiety. If that’s okay,” Kite felt bad about imposing himself, but Ging was actually pleased.

“Yeah, sure!” He hoped he didn’t sound too enthusiastic. “Pariston is in class so we won’t have to deal with him.” Ging walked Kite to the parking structure, the same one he almost jumped from. He took a moment to look up at the towering levels, and then up ahead at Ging, who had stopped and looked back. “Uh, you coming?” Kite took a deep breath and was thankful that he lived and relished in his happiness. 

“Yeah, just enjoying the view,” Kite fell back in step with his teacher’s assistant. They came up to a green compact car with a hula girl on the dashboard and the back full of political and comedic bumper stickers. The license plate read ‘FR33CSS’. 

“Well, this is it,” Ging  ushered towards his car.

“I would have never guessed,” Kite said sarcastically. “What is  _ it _ ?”

“The Freecss-Lightning, obviously.”

Kite couldn’t hold in his laughter. He doubled over holding his stomach. Kite wiped the tears from his eyes and took a moment to catch his breath. 

“Where did you get a name like that?” Kite reached towards the door handle but Ging beat him to it. He opened the door and bowed flamboyantly. 

“Please, a gentleman always opens the door for his guest,” He said with an obnoxious accent. Ging got in the driver’s seat on the other side. 

“I got that name because I can’t exactly tell my mother I’m taking the Pussy Wagon out for spin, can I?” Ging remarked, putting on his seatbelt.

“Oh boy,” Kite rolled his eyes. Ging turned the car on and was blasted by the radio that made him sit back in his seat. 

“Fuck, this is my song,” Ging changed gears and started his descent down the parking structure. He pulled a pair of sunglasses out of the overhead compartment and put them on.  Kite giggled as he started to sing along. Once the song was over and some mediocre pop song came on, he turned the radio down. “Does that bother you?”

“The music? No.”

“No, I mean me saying the p-word.”

“The what?”

“The pussy word.”

Kite started to laugh again. 

“What? Some people are very sensitive about the use of that word,” Ging leaned back in his seat with one hand on the wheel while they sat at a rush hour stoplight. 

“No, I don’t care. I think it’s a good word,” Kite felt relaxed despite the suspicious rattling sounds coming from the car. “I find it hilarious that you’re sitting there in a dress shirt and tie talking about pussy.”

Ging loosened his tie and looked at Kite over his sunglasses. 

“You know, you’re really great. You’re so chill and relatable. What kind of ass faced idiot let a guy like you slip through his fingers? Fuck. I hope he has herpes now cos that’s the only thing that will should with him. “

Kite looked at his lap, unsure of what to say. 

“Thanks… that’s the nicest, and weirdest, thing someone has said to me,” Kite smiled meekly. He used to despise that word, only hearing it in regards to himself, but there was something oddly comforting about Ging using it. Ging change the station again and landed on a country station. He played along on the air guitar while Kite sang along. Kite belted out the words without missing a beat, and Ging was surprised that he wasn’t half bad. The song ended and they found themselves in Ging’s driveway. He turned the car off and shrugged. 

“Home sweet home,” Ging and Kite got out of the car and went to the front door. It was one of those big houses that rented rooms to poor college students. It wasn’t a dump but it wasn’t going to be on the cover of a Martha Stewart magazine anytime soon. Ging showed Kite the kitchen and the living room, then took him upstairs to the bedrooms.

“Those are the other residents, don’t worry about them they just sit in their room and smoke weed all day. That’s my room, and that’s the hell hole that Pariston crawls out of every morning,” Ging opened the door to his room and it was exactly as Kite imaged. There was an unmade bed, a desk covered in papers, a TV hooked up to a game system, and a small coffee table with rings stained into the wood. “I would’ve cleaned up if I planned on you coming over…” Ging rubbed his head embarrassed at his living conditions. Kite walked in and sat on the floor in front of the table, making himself at home. 

“I like it, it’s cozy,” Kite took out his papers and started to organize them. Ging walked over and opened his closet and pulled out some casual clothes. He changed his shirt and pants without even accounting for Kite’s presence. Kite tried to focus on the worksheet but looked up in time to see a glimpse of Ging’s abs as he pulled his shirt on. He sat down next to Kite and looked over the paper. 

“You should be able to do most of these but I’ll check your work,” Ging handed the paper back and watched Kite write, which made him even more nervous. He got through the first few questions with ease. “That’s supposed to be an ‘s’. Don't’ forget the period.”

“Ging,” Kite snapped. 

“Ah, right. I’ll stop hovering,” Ging occupied himself on his phone playing some game and waited a few minutes until Kite was done. “You know the semester is going to be over soon and you’re not going to be in my class anymore.”

“Mhm,” Kite replied, crossing out a mistake with his pen.

“What are we going to do then?”

“Well, what do you mean?”

“I dunno, are we still going to hang out and stuff?”

“If you want to…”

“Hey, keep in touch with me over break too, okay? I worry about you.”

“There’s no need to worry, I’m fine. Okay, I’m done.”

Ging closed his game and took a pen out, marking the paper. Kite sat patiently but with a tenseness in his shoulders as he watched Ging mark up his paper. 

“Pretty good, but you missed a question,” Ging made a circle at the bottom of the page and scribbled something down. Kite took the paper back and read over the corrections. 

“Will you kiss me?” Kite’s eyes widened at the chicken scratch at the bottom of his paper. “Uh…” Kite swallowed hard, trying to get the lump in his throat to pass. “I don’t know.”

“ _ What? I don’t speak Yorbian, only Kappese _ ,” Ging remarked, his tongue dancing behind his teeth as he spoke the foreign language.  _ It sounded nice when he said it _ , Kite couldn’t think anymore and sat still. Ging kept leaning on his hand, moving closer to Kite he could smell the cologne waving off his body. He was dangerously close, he could feel the other man’s warmth almost touching his skin. 

“ _ I-is this going to be on the test?” _ Kite whispered. Ging chuckled lowly, sending shivers up Kite’s spine. 

“ _ We’ll see how well you do,”  _  Ging looked intensely into Kite’s eyes, and he looked away in response. Ging rested his hand on top of Kite’s as he pressed his lips against his student’s. He was warm and comforting, like a blanket out of the dryer. Ging leaned in more, gently pressed Kite’s head to him. He tucked a few loose strands behind Kite’s ear and  rubbed his chin. It was sweet and mild, as there wasn’t a lot of tongue action but Ging did nibble a bit. He pulled away with a calm look on his face, staring at the wide eyed white haired boy in his grasp. Kite wasn’t sure where to look as Ging ran his thumb across his lips. He focused on the paper that was in his hand. All the time Ging spent doing corrections he was really just doodling hearts all over the paper. 

“You’re in perfect shape for the exam, don’t worry,” Ging said as if he didn’t take another’s breath away. Kite was scared, he stood up and gathered his stuff, not quite in his body. Ging waited a moment for Kite to collect himself before standing next to him. 

“Was I too forward?” Ging stepped back to give Kite room. 

“No, I don’t know. I can’t be here. I shouldn’t be here,” Kite covered his ears so he could think.

“You’re okay, I’m sorry I was too forward,” Ging reached out but Kite jerked away.

“No, you don’t understand. I got back together with him,” Kite covered his face. 

“What?” Ging held his breath. 

“Genthru and I got back together. He apologized and said he changed and I took him back. We got back together like a week later. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me,” Kite held himself as he shook. 

“Genthru? He doesn’t even go to college he just hangs around campus to pick up chicks! Kite, he doesn’t care about you. You deserve better,” Ging went to hold his hand and he flinched. “Kite, is he hurting you?”

“I need to go home. I shouldn’t be here. I’m a liar and a cheat,” Kite mumbled to himself. 

“Kite, answer my question, is he hurting you?” Ging was careful not to raise his voice too much.  Kite sighed and stretched out his turtleneck collar to help him cool off. Ging caught a glimpse of a bruise on his neck. 

“Kite…” Ging cooed. “I’ll help you leave him.”

“I deserve this.”

Ging was concerned on how rehearsed it sounded. 

“No one else would ever love me.” 

Kite turned away from him. 

“I can’t see you anymore.”

Ging rolled his shoulders back and stood up tall.

“Kite, if you honestly and truly never want to see me again I will disappear from your life, you just have to say so. But if you want me to help you get rid of him, I will do anything it takes,” Ging waited for Kite’s response. Kite slowly turned around, staring straight at the ground, his eyes heavy with water. 

“Help me,” Kite whispered. Ging nodded and took him into his arms. 

“It’s going to be okay,” He said, stroking Kite’s hair. “I’ll fix this.”


	3. Remember that I love you

The door slammed shut but Kite didn’t hear it. He was already gone.

“Give me your phone,” a voice said. He took his phone out of his pocket and held it out, completely numb to the sounds around him. Genthru snatched the phone away and unlocked it. He knew the passcode, it was part of the deal. Kite sat on the couch in the spotless apartment. He cleaned it last time he was here. It was much nicer than Ging’s, but less comfortable. Even the suede leather couch was cold.

“Who’s Ging?” He finally asked, looking down at Kite.

“My teacher’s assistant. He tutors me on Tuesdays,” Kite said blandly. Genthru sat down next to Kite and put his arm around his shoulder. He flinched, still tense and on alert.

“Mhm, and why do you have his SnapChat and Instagram? Isn’t that a little too friendly for a student teacher relationship?” Genthru went through Kite’s photos next. He showed Kite a picture of a selfie of Ging and Kite. Ging had his arm around Kite and both were doing a peace sign.

“He’s very funny and does a lot of stuff around school that I like to see. He goes to a lot of events that I can’t go to so it’s nice to see it,” Kite felt a little warmth after seeing Ging’s face, but it was gone as soon as it came.

“Are you fucking him?” Genthru started deleting the photos. Kite inhaled sharply trying not to react. He knew Ging had copies of the photos so he could relax a bit.

“No,” Kite replied.

“Does he know you’re a two hole freak?” Genthru turned Kite’s face towards him.

“Yes,” Kite’s eyes were blank.

“He probably feels sorry for you,” Genthru put his hand on Kite’s waist, scooting him closer. “You have a lot of tutoring sessions over lunch?” He pinched Kite’s stomach and he jerked. “How can you get so fat from eating salad is my question. All you eat is rabbit food.” Kite blinked slowly. _Hey, it’s okay to eat_ , he thought. He thought about Ging cooking for him. Genthru never did that. Kite was starting to get hungry but he tried not to think about it.

“A lot of people are vegetarian,” Kite replied.

“Yeah, idiot tree-hugging trannies like you,” Genthru chuckled and adjusted his glasses. “But I still love you. You’re lucky to have me, some people don’t date girls who don’t eat meat.”

“I’m not…” Kite started but caught himself.

“Not what?”

“I’m not opposed to meat, it makes me sick. I didn’t grow up eating meat so my digestive system isn’t used to it,” Kite looked out the window. From this height all he could see was the open sky and clouds. It was grey with a few bouts of sunshine. The sun kept trying to shy despite being smothered by the clouds. He could relate.

“Oh geez, is this another guilt trip about you growing up poor on a farm? Aren’t you over that by now?” Genthru sighed and slouched into the couch. He turned on the tv for background noise. Kite crossed his arms and slouched down as well. “You want to watch a movie and cuddle?” Genthru said smoothly. Kite didn’t answer because he knew he wasn’t asking, he just said it that way to make it sound like he was. He flipped through a list of movies under the ‘Comedy’ category. Kite hated comedy movies, it was full of naked women and misogyny, but that’s what Genthru liked about it. “Let’s watch this one, this is my favourite movie.” Kite nodded, he didn’t really have a choice anyway. He used to suggest movies but he was always shot down, so he just stopped trying. He sat quietly watching the movie too unfeeling to care. He thought about what kind of movies Ging liked, probably something with a of of action or rom coms. He seemed like the kind of guy who on the outside was all about tits and booze but spent his weekends crying over cat videos. Kite smiled and chuckled softly at the thought of Ging watching cute animal videos. “See? I knew you’d like it,” Genthru rubbed his partner’s arm sort of lovingly. Kite relaxed a bit and wondered if all the mean things Genthru said or did was really just misunderstood by him. He rested his head on the other’s shoulder, and felt a light kiss on top of his head. He sighed, he remembered why he fell for Genthru in the first place. Kite had been sent to the library to make copies for the teacher but hadn’t used a copy machine before and he was nice enough to show him how. Now it was three years later and Genthru moved so he could be close and bought Kite a phone and paid the bill so he wouldn’t have to worry about it. He was so kind to him, always looking out and making sure he was safe. That’s why he didn’t let Kite go out, and monitored who he talked to and what he wore, all he was doing was making sure he didn’t get into trouble.

As per every comedy film, there was an obnoxiously done sex scene that seemed to take up half of the movie.

“Hey, babe, can we maybe skip this part?” Kite played with Genthru’s fingers idly.

“Why? This is the best part. She’s so fucking hot I would pay so much money to be able pound that pussy,” Genthru said. Kite shifted uncomfortably at hearing Genthru say that word. There was so much malice and degradation to it. “Or maybe you’d me to do that to your pussy.”

Genthru slid his hand between Kite’s legs and grabbed his crotch authoritatively. Kite pried his hand away and moved to the other end of the couch.

“No, it’s making me dysphoric,” Kite crossed his legs and went back to looking out the window.

“Oh geez, there’s that buzzword again. You used to be such a slut when we were in highschool and now you’re a prude. We haven’t had sex in like, two days!” Genthru pouted.

“I was on my period, okay?! I’m really glad too since you never wear a condom!” Kite threw his hands in the air.

“They’re expensive! And don’t yell at me! There are other things we could do…” Genthru looked at Kite suggestively.

“For the last time, I’m not doing anal again! It hurts too much.” Kite wished he hadn’t said anything, things were going so well and he ruined it with his meaningless discomfort.

“All my friend’s girls at least give them a blow job when they are on their period,” Genthru crossed his arms and spread his legs wide.

“Okay fine, but don’t cum in my mouth,” Kite huffed and kneeled in front of Genthru. He unzipped his pants and his penis sprung out. He had already gotten hard watching the sex scene. Kite looked at it with contempt, it was pretty big in length and girth but he could never enjoy in. Kite spit on his hand and started to stroke it, trying to think about something else. Genthru slinked down in the couch and smiled greedily. Kite open his mouth and just popped the tip in giving it an enthusiastic kiss/

“Come on, but some heart into it,” Genthru barked. Kite rolled his eyes and took it in his mouth as deep as he could comfortably, he still had about half an inch before it was in his mouth all the way. Genthru groaned pleasurably and put his head on Kite’s head, holding his hair out of his face and guiding him on tempo as well. Precum and spit sloshed around in Kite’s mouth and leaked out the side, going down his chin. Genthru really got off on leaving Kite a mess. He yanked Kite by the hair. His face contorted in pain as he yelped out.

“Ouch!” Kite called.

“Take off your shirt, I want to see your rack,” Genthru sneered. Kite took off his sweater and bra, feeling the weight of his chest hang out. He reached down and cupped both breasts in his heads, jiggling them a bit. _Did I remember to do my Anthropology homework?_ Kite looked at the painting on the wall. He thought about taking an art class next semester. “Use your tits.” Kite sat there for a moment thinking about scheduling the next semester. “Um, hello? Earth to hoe?”

“Huh?” Kite looked at Genthru. The way he was looking at him from under the brim of his glasses with the corner of his mouth raised made him sick.

“I said use your tits, bitch,” Genthru snapped. He always got like this during sex. If it wasn’t bitch it was slut, or hoe, or good old fashioned whore. Kite pressed his chest together around the base of his cock, rubbing them together. He took hold of Kite’s hair again and pushed his head down into his lap. Kite closed his eyes to make it a little more bearable instead of the same image of Genthru’s unkempt pubes flashing before his eyes. “Fuck, keep doing it like that.” Kite sucked and rubbed and licked with all the energy he had left, but his face was blank and his eyes were dead. Before he knew it, Genthru gasped and rudely held Kite’s head at the bottom of his shaft, making him gag on the taste, smell, and feeling of his crotch. Kite slapped Genthru’s leg in protest, who let him come up for air.

“Ugh! I said don-” Kite’s voice was cut short by his lips being held together. There was a bright light in his eyes and he saw Genthru’s phone in his hand.

“Swallow,” He commanded. Kite shook his head, feeling the vomit rise up from his stomach. “I said, swallow.” Kite had no choice but to feel the bitter slime drip down his throat. He scrunched his nose and coughed.

“Don’t record me!” Kite felt so humiliated he started to cry. “Delete that right now!” Kite put his shirt on and sat on the floor, teardrops falling in his lap.

“I wish you wouldn’t cry every time we had sex, it makes me feel bad,” Genthru put himself away and stood up, turning off the tv. “I’m exhausted, I’m going to bed. See you in the morning, babe.” He leaned down and kissed Kite’s wet cheek before going to his room. Kite sat there for a moment, collecting himself before crawling back on the couch. He went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face. Even brushing his teeth made him gag. He ran hot water over his hands, trying to get feeling again. He watched it over flow in his hands and spill out the sides. He splashed the water on his face and avoided the mirror. He sat back on the couch  with his hands gently in his lap. He was fading in and out of his body, but a strange noise made him focus. He looked around and noticed a light coming from the table. His phone was buzzing. He picked up his phone, the lock screen was a picture of him and Genthru smiling. _How fake, he edited out my black eye_. He unlocked his phone.

1 new message from Ging.

Ging: Do you know this number? They texted me and dead named you. They said ‘deadname is mine, back off’ what is that about?

Ging: THey just sent me a video??? hold on.

Ging: oh mu god kite are you ok????? wher eare youri ghtn ow?? Imc oming togetyou right now

Kite: no

Ging: whatdoy ou meann no? Is hest ill there??? Where are you???

Incoming call from Ging.

Kite pressed ‘Ignore’.

Ging: kite so help me god

Ging: im caling the cops

Kite: im fine

Ging: imca ling the cops right now where are you

Kite: im fine thats just how we are

Kite: he’s sleeping now im fine

Ging: ok… you are lying i can tell but will you at least send me a picture of you so i can see you are ok?

Kite opened the camera and took a picture of him resting his face on his hand. It was dark enough you couldn’t tell he had been crying.

Kite sent a photo.

Ging: thank you. I can get you out of there right now if you tell me where you are

Kite: i think I’m going to watch tv and go to bed. I didn’t get to see the end of the movie we were watching.

Ging: alright. Will you keep texting me?

Kite: sure.

Ging: what movie was it?

Kite stopped for a moment. He didn’t even remember the name of the movie.

Kite: idk something about pie or cakes. It’s genthru’s favourite I should know

Ging: does he know your favourite movie?

Kite: im going to bed

Ging: wait wait wait i know that movie pariston showed it to me saying it was a ‘yorbian classic’ and honestly Id rather watch paint dry

Kite smiled very meekly.

Kite: There’s tits in it , what more is there to love?

Ging: im an ass man boobs are okay but theass is w hereits at

Kite: surprising you seem like an iron pumping tit man

Ging: is his apartment tan?

Kite: what?

Ging: avenue apartments?

Kite: what the fuck!!!

Ging: come out please

Kite: no!! You aren’t supposed to be here!!! Fuck off!!

Ging: I’m going to honk my horn

Kite: no

Kite: please not that

Ging: hand on the beeper

Kite: I’ll be down in a minute.

Kite clenched his fist in anger. _Why was Ging butting his stupid meathead in?_ He punched his thigh and stood up. He grabbed his keys and slipped on shoes, quietly tiptoeing out the door. He packed a small bag of his stuff, only the essentials, he didn’t really intend on coming back. When he got out the front door, Ging was leaning on the hood of his car, the lights harsh in Kite’s eyes. Ging stood up straight and looked at Kite worriedly. Kite took a few steps forward and felt all of his pent up emotions clawing to get out. Kite cleared his throat.

“How did you find me?” Kite said quietly.

“Your picture. I know a tech guy who owed me a few favours, he figured out your gps no problem. Plus you have GPS tracking on,” Ging was heartbroken and the lifelessness in his friend’s face.

“Hm. Genthru had that installed. Seemed to backfire on him,” Kite took a little comfort in the fact that Ging was here. Ging held out his hand. He looked almost angelic with the headlights of his car illuminated behind him.

“Kite…” Ging said softly.

Kite felt his mouth go dry. He could get out. He could get away from Genthru. He could run away with Ging and never look back, it was in his power. He wanted to be free but the fear of what would happen if he was caught pulled him back like a chain. His feet felt heavy, cemented into the ground. There wasn’t any air left in his lungs.

“Help me,” Kite whispered. He placed his hand into Ging’s  and walked towards him. He was being saved, Ging truly was an angel. Ging wrapped his arms around him in the cold autumn night and felt him go weak. Kite couldn’t even cry anymore, he was so emotionally spent he just closed his eyes and focused on the smell, Ging’s hoodie that reeked of cigarettes and weed, the car exhaust, the unforgiving wind.

“Let’s get out of here, okay? Promise me you’re never going back to him,” Ging noticed how Kite smelled like sweat and tears.

“Never,” Kite mumbled against Ging’s hair. Ging led him by the hand to the car door and got in on the other side. Ging rolled down the windows and played some mellow trance music through the speakers. Kite felt the wind move through his hair for what seemed like the first time and saw the stars. Ging wasn’t kind of concerned about his silence but knew to be patient. He reached his hand out and put it on top of Kite’s with a featherlike touch. Kite jumped and whipped his head around. Ging was smiling mildly.  Kite tightened his grip and smiled back. Ging leaned on the armrest and kissed Kite’s hand like royalty. He can’t remember the last time he was touched with his sincere kindness.

“Are you hungry?” Ging said, feeling the thinness of Kite’s fingers.

“Is it okay?” Kite held his breath.

“Of course,” Ging turned the wheel and they stopped at a restaurant chain drive thru. They didn’t pull out of the dirve thru before Kite started to inhale the food. Ging drove around for a little bit more before pulling into a public park with a lake. “Uh, uh, slower, you’ll puke,” he cautioned. Kite nodded and tried to savour every bite. He was so hungry he bit his fingers. Once he finished and put the wrappers away he hunched over in the seat. Ging kept his distance, giving Kite time to process, but ultimately keeping close watch on him. He turned the radio down so Kite could think. Ging heard a sound come out of Kite’s mouth but wasn’t sure what is was. He listened carefully and watched Kite’s body shake a little. Was he crying? Ging face was stricken with worry. Kite sat up straight and showed he was laughing, tears streaming down his face.

“Why are you here,” Kite said spitefully.

“You’re my friend, and I care about you,” Ging said slightly perturbed. Kite chuckled again.

“I know why you’re here. I paid attention to all those stupid movies Genthru made me watch. Girl is involved with bad guy. Good guy saves girl from bad guy. Good guy is a hero, and the girl sleeps with him. Is that what you’re expecting out of this?”

Ging was taken aback.

“No, not at all. I’m here because you’re important to me,” Ging felt like he was being backed into a corner.

“Do you want to have sex with me? Am I another notch on your bedpost? Is that your goal?” Kite looked at him with wicked eyes. This wasn’t him talking.

“Kite, I don’t know what Genthru has been saying to you, but it’s not like that.”

“Then why did you kiss me?”

Ging swept the hair back from his face, starting to sweat.

“I don’t know why. Maybe I was bored. Maybe I was high. Maybe it’s because whenever I’m with you I feel so happy and calm and I never want you to leave. Maybe it’s because you’re my last thought at night and first thought in the morning. I don’t know, but it’s not about me right now. I’m worried about you. Please tell me what’s been going on and let me help you,” Ging felt embarrassed about what he said but it needed to be heard. Kite looked at him over his shoulder cynically.

“I need some air,” Kite said, opening the car door and stepping out. Ging got out as well and opened the trunk. “What are you doing?”

“Trust me,” He said. Kite leaned up against the hood of the car with his arm crossed.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you. I just don’t know what to feel without Genthru telling me. I’m scared, Ging,” Kite held his head trying to keep himself together. Ging came back with a  few blankets and pillows and laid it over the hood and windshield of the car. “Why is this in your car?”

“Sometimes you don’t know where you’ll be sleeping, you gotta be prepared,” Ging placed a pillow down and watched Kite sink in, bringing the blanket around him.

“You mean like sleeping under a pretty lady’s bed?” Kite joked.

“Hey!” Ging blushed, but it was nice to hear Kite laugh. Ging sat with his arm on his knee looking up at the sky. He loved to star gaze out here, it was quiet with just a few houses around and there was minimal light pollution. The moon reflected onto the water and the waves carried its distorted image throughout. Kite sighed and felt relieved.

“Do you really care about me?” Kite breathed.

“More than I should.”

“Can I ask something selfish?”

Ging brought the blanket over his shoulders and laid down adjacent to the white haired boy.

“Anything.”

Kite started to cry again, sniffling and covering his face with the blanket.

“Will you hold me? I’m sorry,” Kite whispered. Ging hushed Kite with utmost tenderness and brought him into his arms. He stroked Kite’s hair as he felt him quiver from an inner coldness.

“I will hold you forever, you don’t ever have to apologize for wanting to feel loved,” Ging whispered. The radio played through the open windows and floated in the air around them. Kite listened to Ging’s heartbeat and felt his warmth, both physically and sentimentally.

“I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve love. No one loves me, I’m unlovable,” Kite buried his face deep into the nook of Ging’s neck. His breath tickled the other man’s skin.

“Untrue.”

“I’m a stupid whore.”

“Pshh, not even close.”

“You saw for yourself.”

“We’ll be stupid whores together.”

Ging squeezed Kite as tight as he could.

“What are you doing? My lungs!”

“I’m squeezing the negativity out and filling it with my love!”

Kite’s eyes grew wide for a moment. Love? Ging caught his words and quickly thought of a save. “Platonically.” Ging softened his grip and moved to look at Kite’s face. “You don’t deserve anything he put you through. You deserve all the love and happiness in the world. Things will get better.” Ging’s ears perked up as he heard the beginning notes of a song. There was a man speaking softly over the radio as a guitar in the background accompanied him.

“Where are you going?” Kite called as Ging sat up.

“Come on,” He beckoned. Kite sat up as well and watched Ging stand in the parking lot. “Dance with me.”

Kite approached him hesitantly.

“I don’t know how to dance,” Kite admitted. Ging bowed respectfully and held out his hand.

“That’s okay, I’ll lead.”

Kite met his hand and was pulled close by the small of his back. They sway back and forth in time to the music while Ging sang along.

 

_So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell_

_Blue skies from pain_

_Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?_

_A smile from a veil?_

_Do you think you can tell?_

_And did they get you trade your heroes for ghosts?_

_Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a cool breeze?_

_Cold comfort for change? And did you exchange_

_A walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?_

 

Ging twirled Kite around and brought him close again. His low voice resonated within Kite’s body, filling him with a sense of security. Ging looked at him adoringly, wishing he could put into words what his heart was screaming. He relied on the song to convey the message.

 

_How I wish, how I wish you were here_

_We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl_

_Year after year_

_Running over the same old ground. What have we found?_

_The same old fears_

_Wish you were here_

 

The song faded in the back as they just stood and held each other now, finding serenity in each other’s presence. Ging looked up at Kite and his eyes were filled again with life and moonlight.

“Can I ask something selfish,” Ging whispered.

“Anything,” Kite was barely audible, had it not been for Ging watching his lips intently he might not have understood.

“Can I kiss you?” Ging grabbed at Kite’s back, clinging to him. Kite’s hair fell beside him in a curtain of silver. He was heavenly, there was no place Ging would rather be. Kite didn’t say anything but instead closed his eyes and leaned towards Ging. He could feel the smaller man’s shaking breath on his lips before a pair of blinding lights shone on them. They broke apart, still starved for the kiss, and shielded their eyes from the brightness. Kite’s grip turned vise as his eyes adjusted and the figure in front of him became clear.

“Kita, you little slut, thought I might find you here,” Genthru stepped out of his car with one hand in his pocket. Kite froze, his lungs couldn’t move and he was light headed. His breath was short and rapid, his heart beating faster than it could handle, he looked to Ging. He was unusually calm.

“It’s okay,” Ging stroked Kite’s cheek and cradled his face. “I’m here.” He kissed Kite on the forehead and turned to face Genthru. Genthru moved towards Ging’s car and grabbed Kite’s bag.

“Ah-ha,” he beamed, grabbing Kite’s phone off the floor. “I buy you a phone and pay your bill, and this is what I get?” Genthru slammed the phone down onto the pavement of the parking lot. Glass shattered everywhere and little plastic bits littered the ground.

“No!” Kite yelped.

“He doesn’t owe you anything. You don’t own him,” Ging stood defensively in front of Kite who was cowering on the ground.

“I’m sorry, I’ll come back, it will be like it was! I won’t do it again!” Kite shrieked.

“You should be grateful I’d take you back, most people would have dropped your ass on the street where you belong! Leave you for the garbage trucks to pick up!” Genthru put Kite’s bag in his car. “C’mon.”

Kite got up and with his head down started walking towards Genthru’s car. Ging put his arm out and stopped him.

“No, Kite. You don’t have to deal with him alone anymore,” Ging looked fiercely at the blond man before him. “Your fight is with me now, leave him out of it. He’s had enough of your shit.”

“You sure talk big for a midget,” Genthru smirked. Ging stood toe to toe with him, barely coming up to his shoulders.

“Listen you shit eating scum of the earth,” Ging gave Genthru a shove. “Back off. I will beat your ass into the dirt if you lay a hand on Kite ever again.” Genthru chuckled and reached into his pocket.

“You better hold your tongue before I blow your brains out,” In one swift move, Genthru pulled a pistol from his pocket and whipped Ging across the face. Once he was on the ground, Genthru drew back his foot and planted it into the back of Ging’s skull, knocking him unconscious instantly. Genthru used the gun to gesture towards him.

“Kita, come,” He hissed. Kite bowed his head and followed submissively. He was shaking uncontrollably, regretting ever enrolling in Kappese.

“Please put the gun away, I’ll do anything you say just please, put the gun away,” Kite begged, his hands together in front of his chest. Genthru casually spat on the ground and stood there, looking at Kite.

“I woke up and you weren’t there. I thought maybe you were in the bathroom but I checked the whole apartment and you were gone. Called and didn’t get an answer. Checked your messages from my phone. You know I could do that? Followed the GPS to you in the arms of this filthy animal,” He kicked dirt onto Ging. Kite was relieved to see him sort of calm. Maybe they could go home and just start over.

“I don’t need a phone, Genthru. They are just a nuisance and take away my attention from you like you said. And I don’t need to go to school anymore! I’ll drop out and move in with you. You’ll have me all to yourself. I’ll keep the house clean and cook for you, and we’ll do all the things I never did before. You were right, I’m so lucky to have you, please, I love you,” Kite put his hand on the pistol.

“Yeah…” He trailed off, putting the gun in his pocket. Kite relaxed, feeling safer that the gun was out of his hands. He worried about Ging, praying to anything out there that he wasn’t dead.

“And I’ll crush that stupid fucking windpipe of yours so you can’t keep lying to me!” He lunged and Kite, catching the scream in his throat. He pressed him against the car with the force of his thumbs on his trachea. He couldn’t yell for help or even say he was sorry to Ging for having it end this way.  Kite didn’t even try to fight back anymore, he was too tired. His arms hung by his side limply as the lack of oxygen gave him tunnel vision. He deserved this. His consciousness left him finally. His body suddenly dropped as he felt Genthru’s grip leave him and heard a thud of a body hitting the ground that wasn’t his own. Ging sprung at him like a tiger on his prey, knocking him to the ground trying to give a few spare moments for Kite to survive. He would give anything he had, even his own life, for Kite to survive. The two men tussled and shouted in their fight until there was nothing left but a deafening ring in the air and then silence.

A shot had been fired.


	4. You only live twice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED.  
> BTW most of Kite's weed experiences are based off of true real life events  
> also I don't know SHIT about the legal system or EMT stuff so I jsut kind of skipped it...sorry

Ging shivered. He struggled to breathe and when he managed to exhale he coughed up red fluid into his hand. He put his stained hand on Genthru’s throat as to stabilize himself and also to keep him there.

“Pathetic,” Genthru said with disgust, looking up at the islander who was going pale. His hands were clammy and his grip was weak. “It’s over. You lost.” He pushed Ging off of him and looked at his clothes. “Ugh, I’m covered in blood.” He walked over to Kite’s unconscious body and picked her up. Ging laid there, crippled by the pain. He held his stomach to try and at least slow the bleeding. He used his free arm to try and crawl towards Kite.

“Don’t-” The words caught in his throat, his lungs struggled to keep up. Genthru shook Kite.

“Kita, get up. We’re going home,” He grabbed his shoulders and shook harder. He sighed disappointedly and felt his neck which was started to show bruising. The pulse was weak, but there. “You can’t play dead.”

Ging felt a little relief to know Kite was alive, but he was overcome by the guilt and sadness that there was nothing he could do now to save him. Sirens were in the air but Ging couldn’t really hear them anymore. Genthru sighed in annoyance and placed a hand between Kite’s chest. He pressed down rhythmically and put his mouth onto Kite’s heaving a breath into him. He coughed, the taste of Genthru’s lips was like poison.

“Ah, there you are. We’re going home. Come on,” Genthru dragged Kite to his feet. Genthru heard the sirens get louder. “Did you call the police, you stupid bitch?”

“You broke my phone…” Kite squeaked out. His voice was rattled in his throat, barely coming out as a whisper. Genthru leg Kite to the car by the arm. Kite saw Ging on the ground, barely breathing and fell to his knees. He screeched in horrible and began to weep.  The sirens were getting closer and Genthru became paranoid.

“Come on, forget him! Let’s go!” He yanked on Kite’s arm. “It’s like watching a sick dog die. Would you rather I put him out of his misery?” Genthru dragged Kite along and crouched down, putting the barrel of the gun to Ging’s forehead. Kite laid his head on Ging’s chest out of exhaustion and in hopes to still hear his heart. He put his hand over Ging’s and pressed down to stop the bleeding.

Ging smiled, his eyes barely open. He looked at Kite with glassy eyes.

“If you kill him, kill me too,” Kite screeched, trying to his body to keep Ging warm.

“You two disgust me,” Genthru drew the hammer of the revolver back. The sirens wailed and tires screeched as the police slid into the parking lot. Paramedics were already rushing out of their car with a stretcher. The officers stood behind their doors with guns in their hands, yelling.

“Drop the gun and get on the ground!”

Genthru clicked his tongue and put his gun on the ground, and got on his knees with his hands behind his head. An officer came over and handcuffed Genthru, leading him to the back of the car. A paramedic came over  and took Kite off of Ging. Another one went to Ging with an oxygen mask.

“Can you hear me?”

They shined a light in his eyes. He could see their mouth move but he was so tired. He was so cold and tired, his eyelids started to close.

“Sir, nod your head if you can hear me.”

He nodded. They lifted him on a stretcher and put him in the back of the ambulance.

“Kite,” He said.  The paramedics looked at each other, thinking he was talking nonsense.

“Save...Kite…” He lifted his hand a bit.

Kite was on the bench next to Ging, trying to catch his breath in an oxygen mask.

“Are you hurt?” They asked Kite. He gestured towards his throat, mimicking the grasp Genthru had on him.

Once they got to the hospital Ging was rushed to emergency surgery to take the bullet out and Kite was put in a bed. One of the police investigators lingered around Kite waiting for hospital personnel to give him the ok to ask questions. Once Kite was stable, the man in a suit came in and sat down.

“Ms. Phan, it’s important to get these details while they are fresh. Are you willing to answer some questions?” He said calmly. Kite stared at the ceiling, trying to zone out. “Ms. Phan, this will help in convicting the one who attacked you. Can you tell me what happened?”

Kite closed his eyes and sighed. His lungs and throat were sore.

“I was trying to run away, and he followed us.”

“Who did?”

“My boyfriend, Genthru. He brought a gun and told me to leave him but Ging stood up for me,” Kite started to cry. “He hit Ging with the gun and then kicked him. Then he came at me and choked me. I think I passed out, I don’t remember. I remember a pressure on my chest and Genthru was telling me to get in the car again. I saw Ging on the ground bleeding and went to him. Genthru threatened to kill him and I begged him to kill me too.” Kite covered his face in shame. “I killed him, didn’t I? I killed Ging. I should’ve stayed home.”

“Mr. Freecss is in recovery right now. He’s doing well,” The detective said. Kite bowed his head. “You should be able to see him tomorrow. I’ll let you rest,” The man left and a few nurses came in to check Kite’s vitals.

Kite was released from the hospital the next day due to his stable condition and a surprising lack of serious injuries. He told the doctors that was because an angel saved him.  Then after about two weeks, he testified in court against Genthru.He was sentenced to 10 years in jail and a hefty fine. Ging was still in the hospital but making an amazing recovery. Kite was too ashamed to face Ging, knowing he was the reason he was in there. He figured Ging hated him so he never went to visit. He went to class and went on life as usual. He even went to his Kappese class which was pointless and barren without Ging. Tuesday afternoons he would wander around, unsure of what to do without his study sessions. After a few days he just locked himself in his room after class. He didn’t sleep much because when he closed his eyes all he could see was Genthru pointing a gun at Ging. Under the advice of Cheadle, he started going to therapy where he received medication for his newly diagnosed PTSD.

He sat in his room staring out the window while Poof gently cooed in his cage. It was snowing softly, the flakes in the air slowly descending into the puffs on the ground. There was a rapid knock on the door.

“Come in,” He said flatly.

Cheadle opened the door with a puzzled look on her face.

“Pariston is here to see you?” she said as more of a question than a statement. Kite didn’t move. “I’ll bring him in.”

Pariston shuffled to Kite’s doorway.

“Hey, uh,” He started. Kite didn’t acknowledge his presence. “I’m going to pick up Ging from the hospital, I was wondering if you want to come with me. He’s been asking to see you, you know.”

Kite turned in his chair and nodded very slightly. He got his shoes and followed Pariston to his car. It was an obnoxious gold luxury car with the doors that went up instead of out. Kite didn’t say anything but just sat there and stared forward. Pariston had old swing music on the radio. He turned it down to talk.

“Listen, I know it isn’t my place to say anything, but Ging really cares about you. You’re all he talks about,” Pariston said.

“I’m sorry,” Kite whispered.

“For what?” Pariston half-heartedly smiled.

“I know you love him. He told me. You’re all he talks about,” Kite said. Pariston scowled and sighed. Both of them knew that was a lie.

“I don’t love Ging. Would I suck his dick? Of course. He’s smokin’ hot, but I don’t love him. The first thing he said when he woke up was ‘Is Kite okay?’. Every day I visited him he asked if you were coming. It’s not my place, but I know he’s too stubborn to say anything. He really loves you.”

Kite felt infuriated at that word. That word only brought him pain. _You’re lucky I love you. Be glad I love you so much. I do this because I love you._  It was always that word. He didn’t believe in love anymore.

Pariston walked in first and greeted Ging in the waiting room.

“Whoever did the surgery on your face should be fired,” He said with a smile.

“Yeah well at least I have an excuse, you bastard,” Ging snapped back. He gave Pariston a one armed hug.Over his shoulder he saw a tall figure trying to make itself small by hunching over. Ging pushed Pariston to the side as he ran towards Kite, nearly tackling him. “Kite! You’re okay! Oh, my star shine, I was so worried about you,” Ging wiped the silver hair from his face and held his jaw in his hands. “Why didn’t you come see me?”

“I thought you hated me. I almost got you killed,” Kite’s voice was still hoarse.

“Hate you? I could never hate you. You are so important to me,” Ging hugged him tightly.  Kite rested his chin on Ging’s head and patted his back. Pariston made a heart with his hands and mouthed ‘He loves you’ to Kite.

“Hey, this is great and all but I got shit to do, let’s go home,” Pariston barked. He started walking towards the car.

“Kite, will you please spend a few days with me? I feel like I died 100 times every minute I didn’t see you,” Ging pleaded.

“Uhm, sure, I guess,” Kite blushed, not sure how to respond. “If it’s okay with Pariston…”

Pariston shrugged as he opened the door.

“If that means I don’t have to take care of him, then stay all you want,” Pariston said casually. Ging sat in the back of the car with Kite. He rested his head on Kite’s shoulder while holding his head.

“And tell me all about the trial and how you’ve been doing, I’ve been so worried,” Ging nuzzled Kite’s bony shoulder. “I missed you.”

“You’re rather hyper for someone who almost died,” Kite said with a bitterness in his voice.

“I feel reborn. You know what they say, ‘you only live twice’,” Ging said with a singsong voice.

“Once. It’s you only live once,” Kite said plainly. Ging smiled.

“ _You only live twice, or so it seems. One life for yourself and one for your dreams,_ ” Ging smiled. “This is my life for my dreams.” He looked up at Kite like an eager child.

“ _You drift through the years, and life seems tame. Then one thing appears and love is its name,”_ Pariston joined in, looking at Kite in the rear view mirror.

They stopped at Kite’s dorm to pick up some stuff for his stay. Pariston waited in the car and Ging went in with him. Kite wrote up a list to take care of his animals for Cheadle.

“And only feed Pitou twice a day no matter how much she begs. She’ll puke if she eats too much,” Kite said. Cheadle took the list and nodded. Ging was in Kite’s room packing stuff into a bag. He grabbed his favourite pillow and noticed something shine. He picked it up and looked at it. It looked like a small razor blade from a pencil sharpener with little droplets of dried blood on it. Kite popped his head in and Ging put it in his pocket. “Okay, I got my bathroom stuff, now I just need some clothes.” Kite set his toothbrush and deodorant in his bag and opened one of his drawers. He grabbed a fist full of underwear  and socks and put them in the bag. One pair of underwear fell on the ground.

“What about this one,” Ging picked it up and realized there wasn’t much to grab at. He held a black thong with a pink bow on the front in his hands and blushed. Kite snatched it out of his hands with lightning speed, quickly shoving it in the drawer. “I didn’t know you-”

“I wear tight pants!” Kite snapped. He bent down to open his drawer of pants. Ging saw a shock of purple sticking out from the top of his pants. _He’s wearing one right now!_ Ging bit his nails to keep from saying anything. _I bet his ass looks really cute in one_. “Oh, wait, let me get Pitou’s cat food out or else Cheadle can’t reach it.” Kite left the room.

“Hello?” Pouf squawked.

“Ugh, you again,” Ging groaned. He went over to the cage and stuck a finger in. The bird quickly pecked at it. Ging drew his hand back before he could land a bite.

“Please, don’t hurt me!” Pouf said. Ging raised an eyebrow.

“Arr! I’m sorry, stop hitting me! Genthru!” Pouf cheeped.

Ging felt his stomach drop and a chill ran down his spine.

“You repeat what you hear, that’s what Kite said,” he remarked solemnly. “Well, next time you see Kite, tell him this.” He leaned over and whispered a phrase to the bird.

“Arr! Fuck off!” Pouf said.

“Are you two getting along in there?” Kite called.

“Yeah, he’s just an ass,” Ging said as he grabbed Kite’s bag and walked out. “Ready to go?”

“Yes,” Kite affirmed. He said goodbye to his animals and followed Ging to the car.

The first thing Ging did when he got back was lay in his bed. Kite stood still in one place, afraid to move anything.

“Please, make yourself at home,” Ging cleared a spot on the floor for Kite to set his stuff. Kite was visibly uncomfortable being in someone else’s room. Ging reached his arms out and beckoned him. Kite sat next to him on the bed and kept his hands in his lap. Ging pulled the hair away from his face and swept it to one shoulder.

“Is it okay if I take a shower?” Kite muttered.

“Of course, let me show you how to work it,” Ging got up and led Kite to the bathroom. He showed him where the towels were and how to turn the knob just right to get the best temperature. Kite thanked him and Ging went back to his room to give him some privacy. He took the razor blade out of his hand and turned it over in his fingers. _How fresh is this blood?_ He thought. Kite had always worn pretty conservative clothing so he obviously couldn’t see if he was harming himself. Ging threw the blade in the trash.

Kite watched the water go down the drain. He was so happy to be at Ging’s, but he was afraid to show it. He looked at the bruises on his legs and touched them to see if they still hurt. He inhaled sharply in pain. He rubbed the warm water over the cuts on his chest and stomach. They still stung. The freshest were the ones on his shoulders and wrists. He did those after he was released from the hospital. He didn’t know what it was like not to hurt, not to be punished for everything he did so he took it upon himself whenever he felt he deserved it. He turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. He toweled off his hair and looked in the mirror. He saw the bruises on his neck starting to turn colours, the bite marks on his shoulders were too. Genthru liked to bite during sex, it made him feel powerful. He used to enjoy it, but he always drew blood. Kite changed into his pajamas and went back into Ging’s room. Kite hung the towel on Ging’s chair and reclaimed his spot next to Ging.

“Did you have a nice shower?” Ging said.

“Yeah, I haven’t showered alone in a while. It was nice,” Kite took a brush from his bag and started to detangle the ends.

“Can I brush your hair?” Ging offered.

“Sure,” Kite handed him the brush and turned to the side. Ging started brushing out the tangles at the bottom of his hair.

“Genthru wouldn’t let you shower alone?” Ging said after a moment of silence.

“He insisted on spending every minute with me. He was afraid I would masturbate or something. He always said I don’t need to do that I have him,” Kite replied.

“If I didn’t jack off I would probably die,” Ging said without even realizing it. He immediately regretted it. Kite laughed.

“I figured you’d be knee deep in ass you wouldn’t need to,” Kite remarked.

“I don’t get as much ass as everyone thinks I do,” Ging admitted. “Everyone things I’m a porn star.”

“Every girl I always talked too always talked about your famous tongue and I don’t think they were talking about your language abilities,” Kite chuckled lightly. Ging  was glad Kite couldn’t see his reddened face.

“Most guys give half-assed oral and expect their girl to give them the head of their life. I think it’s a crime. I do for people what I would want them to do for me,” Ging muttered.

“Yeah, Genthru didn’t even bother,” Kite said oddly calm.

“Tell me about the trial,” Ging felt Kite’s soft hair slip through his fingers as he moved onto another section.

“I testified and he was found guilty of course, but I was afraid his parents would pay the bail and he would be out on the streets again. But after the verdict a woman came up to me,” Kite paused for a moment. “She said she was sorry that this happened to me. I could tell something had happened to her, the skin on her neck was scarred and part of her ear was missing. She told me she was Genthru’s mother and that his father was abusive and she was afraid this would happen one day. His step dad was there too. I asked them if they were going to pay his bail and they said no, he deserved this. It was...comforting. I’ve also been going to counseling and got on medication to help with my depression and stuff. I’ve been feeling a little better.” Kite picked at his fingers.

“I’m so glad to hear that,” Ging said. He felt a little shake in Kite’s voice but wasn’t sure if it was from the trauma to his neck or if he was crying.

“I was just so worried that you hated me. I almost killed you. I don’t know what I would have done if you died,” Kite wiped his eyes. Ging put Kite’s hair to one shoulder and cradled him.

“I could never hate you,” Ging whispered. He saw a red mark peek out from under Kite’s sleeve. He picked up his hand delicately and drew back the hem. He saw multiple vertical cuts that have scabbed over. He rubbed Kite’s hand gently and looked at him with somber eyes.

“I’m sorry, I just got overwhelmed and-” Kite watched as Ging kissed his wrist. He rolled up the sleeve more and kissed there as well. He moved to his shoulder and pulled the neck of his shirt. He kissed his shoulder up to his neck. Kite was scared of this tenderness and tried to move away even though he didn’t want to.

“If you wanna burn yourself remember that I love you. And if you wanna cut yourself remember that I love you. And if you wanna kill yourself remember that I love you. Call me up before you're dead, we can make some plans instead. Send me an IM, I'll be your friend,” Ging sang.

“Isn’t that from the pregnant teenager movie?” Kite asked.

“But it’s true, I’ll always be there for you,” Ging covered up Kite’s cuts. “Fuck it, I’m packing a bowl.” Ging got up and went to his desk.

“What?” Kite asked, turning around. Ging sat at his desk chair with a baggy full of marijuana and a blown glass pipe.

“Have you ever smoked weed before?” Ging asked, putting a nug in.

“No… Genthru only let me drink so I would be easy,” Kite watched intently.

“If anyone needs to be bloosted it’s you. I’m going to get you as high as-”

Ging paused and laughed to himself. “I’m going to get you high as a kite.”

Kite snorted he was laughing so hard.

“That’s the funniest fucking thing I heard heard!” Kite fell back on the bed holding his stomach. Ging sat next to Kite with the pipe and a lighter.

“Ok, so here’s the basics. Put your thumb on this hole right here. You light it, breath in, remove your thumb and take in more, and then exhale slowly. And don’t torch the weed, just lightly toast it. Like a creme brulee. Do you want the first hit?” Ging offered the pipe to Kite.

“No, show me how to do it first,” Kite insisted. Ging nodded and put the pipe to his mouth, turning the lighter and igniting the top layer. He inhaled deeply and moved the pipe away. He held his breath for a second removed his thumb, taking another hit. He exhaled and let the smoke spill out.

“Like that,” Ging said smiling. He handed the pipe to Kite. He lit it again and Kite inhaled. “Now take your thumb off.” Kite took another hit and held his breath. Ging followed along with Kite and breathed in then cued him to exhale. He breathed out and coughed.

“Shit,” Kite said, coughing into his elbow. “Sorry I probably look like a fool.”

“Lift your arms above your head, it clears your air way. Everyone does it,” Ging took the pipe and took another hit. After a while, Kite was able to do it on his own without coughing. Ging turned on some obscure indie music and they passed the pipe back and forth until there was nothing but ash left.

“Oh, I think it’s done,” Kite said. Ging set the pipe on the table.

“How do you feel?” Ging looked at Kite through the haze.

“I don’t think I’m high…” Kite felt embarrassed. Ging patted him on the back.

“Give it a little bit,” Ging’s smile relaxed Kite.

“Okay,” Kite smiled back and put an arm around Ging’s shoulder.

“Hey, can you get my computer? We can watch something on Netflix,” Ging pointed to a thin silver laptop on his desk.

“Yeah, sure,” Kite stood up and took a step forward and grabbed onto the chair. “Oh boy.”

“You feel it now?” Ging laughed as Kite handed him his laptop. Kite sat down and tried to get a grip on himself. In the back of his mind, he was worried Ging was trying to get him to bed, but the rest of his mind was so full of smoke he didn’t really care. “Here, lay back.” Ging propped Kite against the headboard with some of his pillows and put the laptop next to them. Kite’s vision was spinning like a bad powerpoint presentation as he tried to focus on the screen.

“Fuck!” Kite shouted. “Fuck, I’m gone. I’m gone. Sober Kite is down. He’s dead. Sober Kite is fucking dead. Rip in peaces.” Ging laughed and put on the show. “Fuck, what is this?”

“It’s called ‘Too Cute’. It’s a show about baby animals. This one is poodles and huskies,” Ging said. “Sorry if this is really forward but do you want to cuddle?”

“Fuck. That sounds so great right now man. Please cuddle me, I’m so ready for this hold me in your arms,” Kite shifted so Ging could snuggle against his chest. He had one hand on Ging’s head stroking his hair and the other draped across his back. Ging wrapped his arms around Kite’s waist and held him close.

“You are the sunshine of my life,” Ging said.

“You are so high,” Kite laughed, considering he was out of his goddamn mind.

“No, I really mean it, Kite,” Ging pushed his face into Kite’s breasts. Kite rubbed his back.

“This Poodles name is Reginald what the fuck, is he royalty?” Kite said. Ging didn’t respond just kept rubbing his head back and forth against Kite. He let out a shaky gasp that caught Kite’s attention. He noticed his pajama shirt was getting wet. “Ging? Ging? Are you okay?”

Ging sat up and revealed that he was crying pretty heavily. He wiped his eyes and nodded.

“I’m sorry, sometimes I get like this. I was just thinking about how important you are to me and you’ve been through so much shit and you don’t deserve any of it. No one has been good to you and I feel bad,” Ging whimpered. He hunched over and covered his face.

“Oh, Ging. You’re good to me. You’re so good to me. You’ve been by my side longer than anyone else has,” Kite rubbed his back.

“I don’t want you to hurt anymore. Please don’t hurt yourself anymore. I was just thinking about what if you died? What if you killed yourself? I care about you so much, I don’t know what I would do without you,” Ging wiped his nose on his shirt and hung his head.

“I won’t, Ging, I promise. I’m getting better. You helped me get better. I wouldn’t be here without you.”

“But like-nevermind it’s selfish. I’m being selfish.”

“No, go ahead. Please talk to me.”

Ging buried his face in his hands.

“Fuck, I’m either horny or get all emotional when I’m high I’m so sorry. Just ignore me.”

“Ging, what’s wrong? It’s okay, whatever it is you can say it. I want to be here for you like you have been for me.”

Ging looked at Kite but jerked his head away.

“Kite,” Ging started. “I love you so much. God, I’m such a fool. I love you so much but I don’t know how you feel about me. I really want you to love me too but I can’t control how you feel. I’ve always loved you I just didn’t know it. Even if you don’t love me I still want to be by your side. “

Kite’s muscles froze as he looked at Ging weeping in his arms. He kissed Ging’s hair and held him closer. He pulled away and wiped Ging’s cheeks.

“I don’t know my feelings for you. I care about you, I know that, but other than that…” Kite watched Ging shake.

“I knew it…” Ging whispered.

“No, no. Ging hear me out, okay? I don’t know how to feel love, or any emotion. For the past three years I’ve been so stunted on my feelings I don’t know how to use them anymore. I don’t know what love is, I thought love was breaking your phone and hitting you when you had a male clerk at the store. I thought love was covering up bruises and making excuses or hiding when they were upset. All I know is that I care about you and I want you to be happy and you make me feel safe and I don’t even know, okay? I'm scared. I just need time. ”

Kite held Ging’s chin and studied his face.

“I’ll wait forever. Can I still be by your side?” Ging sniffled pathetically.

“Of course,” Kite kissed Ging’s forehead. “Hey, I think I owe you a kiss.”

“You’re so high,” Ging smiled.

“I’m out of my freakin’ mind,” Kite touched their foreheads together.

“You don’t have to. I understand,” Ging replied.

“Come here, you idiot,” Kite said, pulling Ging on top of him. Kite pressed their lips together as to make up for last time. Ging lowered himself slowly onto Kite as he sunk into the kiss. He let out a little moan of pleasure as he felt Kite’s hand rest on his lower back. He tucked his arms under Kite’s shoulders and brought him closer. Ging peeled his lips off and looked into Kite’s eyes dreamily. His eyes were half closed and he had a wide smile on his mouth, his hair was tossed all about him so beautifully Ging felt compelled to cry again. _Maybe I’m higher than I thought_ , Ging said in his head.

“You’re so beautiful,” Ging leaned down and gave Kite a kiss on the cheek and one more quick peck on the lips. Kite chuckled as his eyelids closed.

“We’re so high,” Kite muttered, slowly drifting off to sleep. Ging turned off the light and closed the laptop, setting it on the floor before snuggling back into Kite’s arms were he fell asleep too. 


	5. All Tomorrow's Parties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> turn down for what

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ny'all sorry this took so long I just didn't have any inspiration!!

They awoke to a light rap on the door. 

Pariston opened the door, already dressed and ready for the day. He was obviously a morning person. 

“Smells like hippie’s van in here,” He swatted the air in front of his face. “Ging, are you going to make breakfast, or am I going to have to starve?”

Ging smacked his lips together while waking up. His mouth was dry as he had been snoring and drooling all over Kite’s chest. 

“Cook your own damn breakfast,” Ging replied, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Kite woke up as well and propped himself up.

“But your strawberry belgian waffles are the best and I’m really craving them,” Pariston put a hand on his hip in discontent.

“Make them yourself, aren’t you in like 50 cooking classes?” Ging sat up and wiped the drool off his face. He looked down at Kite’s soaked nightshirt and gestured towards it. Was it all drool, or was some of it tears? He didn’t want to think about it. 

“Actually, waffles sound really good right now,” Kite said sheepishly, his voice still strained from the incident. 

“Alright, I’ll get started on them,” Ging nearly jumped out of bed after hearing Kite wanted it. Ging stood up and stretched as tall as he could just barely being able to reach over Kite’s head. He cracked his neck and back, flexing his muscles and showing off to Kite. Kite noticed, and blushed a little at Ging’s wide smile. “Oh, sorry about your shirt. Here, borrow one of mine.” Ging went to his closet and ripped a shirt off the hanger and tossed it to Kite. Pariston looked at Kite with a suspicious smile.

“I’ll leave you two alone then, but if the waffles aren’t started in 15 minutes I’m calling the cops,” Pariston flipped his golden hair and walked away. Kite took the shirt and fumbled around with it in his hands. It felt soft and smelled fresh but still had Ging’s distinct cologne waving off of it. 

“Uh, Ging, I was wondering if you could help me…” Kite reached in his bag and pulled out a lump of black fabric. Kite turned around and saw Ging was putting on his pants. He saw a flash of his bright green underwear that sucked to his body before being covered by a pair of dark wash jeans. He put a button down shirt over his tank top but left it open. He turned to face Kite.

“Yeah? Whatchu’ need?” Ging didn’t worry about sounding like a foreigner around Kite.

“I was wondering if you could help me out with my binder. I can do it myself it’s just easier with someone else,” Kite was embarrassed to face the fact he was trans again. He was jealous that Ging could just put on a shirt and go, but no matter what Kite did, he had to wear a variety of under clothes.

“Of course,” Ging went over and put his hands up eagerly. “Just tell me what I need to do.”

Kite turned around and unbuttoned his night shirt, letting it fall to the ground. He took a handful of baby powder from his bag and patted it under and on his chest and a little on his back. 

“Ok, I’m going to put this over my head. All you have to do is pull the back part down,” Kite flipped all his hair forward and threaded it through the bottom of the binder. “Please ignore my chest.” Kite felt a twinge of sadness in his heart as he thought about how he could never be normal, and that this hassle would go on forever. He would always have to hide from Ging. Ging said he loved him but he didn’t mean it, he was trans, he was unlovable. Genthru was right. Maybe he’ll write him and jail and ask for forgiveness. Maybe he could-

“Didn’t even cross my mind,” Ging said sweetly. Kite pulled the binder over his head and over his chest before straightening his back. Ging put his hands on the small of Kite’s back before sliding them up and pulling down the binder. Kite shivered.

“Your hands are freezing!” Kite remarked.

“Sorry,” Ging said bashfully. “This thing looks tight, are you sure you’re okay to wear it?”

“I kind of have to. Plus it’s not too bad, I’ve worn it for a whole weekend before and I didn’t have much pain,” Kite flipped his hair back over and worked through the tangles with his fingers. 

“It’s like, diggin’ into your shoulder,” Ging moved his hand up Kite’s back to his reddened shoulder. There were lines from the day before were it had dug in. Ging pressed his fingers into Kite’s muscles. “You’re tense.” He rubbed his hands over Kite’s taut muscles, pressing down on certain points. Kite groaned a bit when Ging pressed on a tender spot by his neck. 

“Ah, sorry, did I hurt you?” He asked. 

“No, I’m fine,” Kite replied. Ging pressed his thumbs into Kite’s tissue and kneaded the muscles in his hands. Kite leaned back a bit, pressing his hands harder against his aching body. Kite relaxed and tilted his hand back in bliss. Ging swept his hand to the side and started rubbing the lower part of his back as well. Ging put his hands around Kite’s tiny waist and brought him closer. He stood on his toes to get a taste of pale skin against his tongue, giving a playful smooch to the back of Kite’s neck. He nipped at his shoulder and grazed his teeth down his spine. Kite trembled and gasped.

“Ging,” Kite moaned, his voice desperate and wispy. Ging pressed his body against Kite and slowly rocked him, grinding their pelvises together. “Hey, that tickles.”

“Mmm, good. You have a cute laugh,” Ging blew against Kite’s ear and his knees went weak. How did he already know how to play him? Kite was putty. 

“Yeah, hello, 911? Yeah I have an emergency alright. Some stoners won’t stop making out or whatever they’re doing and make me some food,” Pariston shouted loudly outside of the door. 

“Fuck off you washed up hoe,” Ging said sarcastically, taking another bite out of Kite’s snowy skin. Kite turned around in sort of a daze, his neck glistening with spit and red with the perfectly spaced marks of Ging’s teeth. Kite nervously fidgeted with the shirt in his hands before pulling it over his head.

“It smells like you,” Kite muttered. 

“You look super cute,” Ging said with dreamy eyes. 

“The waffles…” Kite gestured towards the door. Ging nodded and they went into the kitchen. They shared this small space with a few other people so it wasn’t close to immaculate, but it was cozy. Kite felt himself comfortable enough to sit at the table with Pariston while Ging poured coffee for them both. Some of the cabinet doors were squeaky and the light above the sink buzzed and flickered, but it was still functional. Ging stirred up the batter and got out the waffle iron. Kite watched as he cut up strawberries with precision and delicacy, never once grazing his skin. Pariston had the radio on to old rat pack tunes like usual, and Ging was singing along.

“Such a good husband, isn’t he?” Pariston said studying Kite.

“Yeah,” Kite said with a sigh.

“So when’s the wedding?” Pariston said with a greedy smile.

“No! We’re not like that. We’re just…” Kite looked at Ging nervously. He tapped the side of his mug and waited for an answer to come to him. 

“Keep your brown nose out of our business you lonely bastard,” Ging said, presenting Kite with a beautiful plate of waffles topped with strawberries and whipped cream. His eyes lit up and the delicious sight in front of him. 

“Thank you!” Kite sang. Ging sat next to him with a plate of his own. 

“Where’s mine?” Pariston whined.

“You got legs dontcha?” Ging barked. Pariston rolled his eyes and fixed himself a plate of waffles. 

“You never serve me like that, “ Pariston said despondently, sitting down at the table with all the remaining waffles on his plate.

“Kite’s a guest,” Ging looked at Pariston. “There is no way in hell your pro ana bird food eating ass is going to eat all those waffles. Put them back.”

“I licked them all, they are mine,” Pariston snapped.

“Boy, like hell you did!” Ging exclaimed.

“Watch me!” Pariston stuck his tongue out but before he could make contact with any of them Ging yanked the plate away. He divided the stolen goods between the two of them and left Pariston one lonely waffle. 

“I can make more,” Ging said. Pariston passive aggressively ate and pointed his fork at Ging. 

“Speaking of guests, we need to go shopping,” Pariston said. Kite noticed he didn’t put his elbows on the table. He felt self conscious about himself and put his hands in his lap. He looked over at Ging who was basically eating  _ with _ his elbows. Kite chuckled to himself.

“For what?” He said, stuffing his face full of the fluffy dough. 

“The party, where have you been?” Pariston whined.

“Uh, the hospital?” Ging replied. Pariston rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. Well the party that we planned months ago and have already had plenty of people RSVP for is tomorrow, so we need to get some alcohol and food and supplies,” Pariston took a sip of his coffee. Ging hum and hawed about it.

“Well, I dunno…” He mumbled.

“We’ll put it on my card,” Pariston said with an enticing tone.

Ging clapped his hands together.

“Alright, we’re going shopping. Oh, and I hope by supplies you mean  _ supplies _ ,” Ging raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, we can get more of your stupid devil lettuce,” Pariston rolled his eyes.

“Sorry, Pariston. Not all of us can afford rich people drugs. We can’t all do lines of coke off the back of the toilet,” Ging sneered.

“One time! It was one time!” Pariston shouted. Kite jumped a bit put Ging put his hand across the table and touched his arm without even looking. 

“I think you could use some right now,” Ging said sarcastically. Pariston rolled his eyes and went to get his keys.

It was mid November and there was a chill in the air. Kite was bundled up in one of Ging’s old jackets and they walked arm and arm into the store. Pariston got a shopping cart and starting trucking around picking out chips and other snacks. Kite clung to Ging’s arm as people rushed by with loud children.

“Should I get plain or barbeque? Ridged or baked?” Pariston said to himself as he pulled over the expansive chip selection. Ging walked by the rack and grabbed one of every flavour, plopping them unapologetically into the cart. 

“Problem solved,” He started, walking towards the alcohol. Pariston followed close behind and looked over the choices.

“Ugh, I wish they had a nice champagne here. They don’t even have Cristal or a Veuve Clicquot,” the blond clicked his tongue. He sighed dejectedly and looked unimpressed at the glass bottles lined up on the shelves. 

“You’re too bougie. This is college, we don’t want to get Rosé drunk and discuss politics with our grandmothers. We want to get whiskey drunk and be forced out of the McDonald’s playplace,” he said, grabbing a few bottles of Jack Daniel’s. He turned around to Kite who was laughing into his hands. “What do you like to drink, hon?” 

“I’m more of a vodka kind of person to be frank. I like the apple and raspberry flavour,” Kite said quietly. He wasn’t used to be able to openly express his enjoyment of alcohol. Genthru wanted him to drink so he would be easy but shamed him any time he drank by himself. 

Ging gave a crooked smile.

“My kind of man,” he said, placing the bottles in the cart. “Oh, can you get some orange juice and cranberry juice? I can make you a mean Sex on the Beach. I think it’s an aisle over,” Ging said to Kite. He nodded and went over to the juice aisle. He put the cranberry juice under his arm and cradled the orange juice in the other. Kite turned around to go back to Ging and Pariston but was stopped as he collided with someone else. 

“Oh, sorry,” they said. 

Kite’s muscles locked and the air in his lungs disappeared.

Blonde hair.

Pointed glasses.

Blue scarf.

He smiled and walked away. Kite squeezed the bottles close to him.

“Genthru…?” he whispered. He was sure it was him, he knew that face better than his own. How did he get out of jail? Did his parents pay the bail after all? Why had he just walked by? Did he bump into him on purpose? His hands began to sweat as they started to go numb. Kite started heaving and felt light headed. He crouched down on the ground and let the plastic bottles fall out of his arms and bounce on the tiled floor, rolling away. People started to stare and walk around him. Kite tried to pull himself together because he knew that Genthru would punish him for acting this way. He was always embarrassing him when they went out with his stupid panic attacks. He was an adult and should be able to go out of the house without making a scene. What an idiot he was. He was lucky that Genthru didn’t leave him a long time ago. The sounds around him started to fade until all he could hear was a muffled sound of people walking by. 

He thought he heard his name. 

“I’m sorry, I’ll be good. Please don’t leave me, Genthru. I’m sorry. I’ll do anything you say, please don’t leave me,” Kite muttered. He couldn’t cry because he couldn’t feel anymore. He jolted when he felt a warm presence against his cheek. He started to shake as he waited for the touch to hurt.

“Hey,” the voice said. Kite closed his eyes, he didn’t want to see the disappointment in Genthru’s eyes. If he didn’t look, it wouldn’t hurt as much.

“Kite,” he said.

“I’m sorry,” Kite pleaded.

“Kite, it’s me. It’s Ging. What do you need?” He said, wiping the hair out of Kite’s face. Kite saw Ging’s concern and felt horribly guilty. He ruined the day as usual. Kite felt hollow inside and barely noticed that Ging helped him stand up. 

“I need to leave,” Kite said blankly. His eyes were wide and unblinking. Pariston was standing behind Ging with a face that Kite couldn’t analyze. He tapped Ging on the shoulder and handed him the car keys. Ging nodded and started to lead Kite out of the store. 

He felt like he was floating, like his head was fuzzy and before he knew it he was in Pariston’s car again. He was cradled in Ging’s lap, his arms tucked in and being slightly rocked back and forth. Ging held him with the tenderness of a parent and the heartbreak of a lover. He unzipped the other’s jacket to give him space to breath. He hissed in Kite’s ear as he went through fits of silence and sobbing. 

“What happened, baby?” Ging crooned. Kite caught his breath for a moment and wiped his nose on his shirt. Kite clenched his hands until his knuckles were white. 

“I saw Genthru, I think. I don’t know. He looked just like him but he didn’t say anything. How did he get out?” Kite said. Ging stroked his back and held him closer. Kite started out the window without an line of expression on his face. “He’s coming to get me, isn’t it?”

“Shhh,” Ging hushed. “He can’t get you anymore. You’re safe. I’ll protect you.”

Kite suddenly became very tired and felt warm. Ging pulled him into a hug as he twisted his torso to rest his head on Ging’s strong shoulder. He looked out the back window with watery eyes, and through this fog saw a flash of familiarity. Kite pressed his hands against the seat and launched himself off of Ging and into the back of the driver’s seat.

“He’s-!” Kite choked out. He pointed a finger at a figure strolling by the car. “It’s him. Ging he’s found me. Ging, he’s going to kill me.”

He slid down into the foot space and covered his mouth. Ging offered a gentle hand on his knee as he looked out the window. He had to admit, to a paranoid eye, the person did look like Genthru. 

“Would you believe me if I told you that wasn’t him?” Ging said softly.

“Are you sure?” Kite muttered. Ging nodded and helped Kite out of the tight space. 

“Look for yourself,” Ging said. 

Kite looked out the window and saw the man loading groceries into his car. “Genthru was shorter, fatter, and dressed worse than this guy. Plus he looks about 40 years old. It’s definitely not him.” Ging placed his hands on Kite’s shoulders as he peered out the window. He felt a release in Kite’s muscles and a shaky sigh.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Kite watched the man get into the car and drive away. He leaned back on his heel and fidgeted with the zipper on his jacket. He was uncomfortable still and Ging was hesitant to take his hands off him. He’s seen this mood before, it was the calm before the storm everyone talked about so much. 

Sure enough, a moment passed and Kite was pounding his fists into his face. “Why am I always messing everything up!” Kite yelled. Ging reacted and reached around Kite to grab his wrists. He leaned over him so they were both bent in a fetal like position with Kite’s forehead touching the bottom of the seat. Ging squeeze tightly. Kite tried to wiggle free but was held still by Ging’s grip. Ging adjusted so that his mouth was right by Kite’s ear. 

“Shhh, baby. Shhhh,” He hushed, slightly rocking Kite from side to side. “You’re okay. You didn’t mess anything up. You’re okay. I’m not mad, Pariston isn’t mad, you’re safe. Close your eyes.”

Kite smushed his face into the velvety interior of the car, cover his eyes.  Ging continued to jiggle and hush him as he took deep breaths. Once Kite steadied his breathing, Ging loosened up and they sat upright. 

“Thank you, that actually helped a lot,” Kite said bashfully. 

“You feelin’ better?” Ging said.

“How come you always know what to say and do to calm me down?” Kite zipped his coat up again and looked at Ging with his watery eyes. Ging shifted uncomfortably and clicked his tongue. 

“‘Cos I’ve been through what you’ve been through, in a way,” Ging mumbled and put his hands in his lap. Kite cocked his head, his hair flowing over his shoulder. 

“...Ging?” Kite said hesitantly. Kite saw his demeanor change as he tried to make himself small. He covered his mouth with his scarf to try and hide the fact he was sniffling. 

“Like anxiety and stuff… I used to have panic attacks a lot. A LOT. I tried medication but it made me even worse. That’s why I started smoking medicinal marijuana. It helps keep me calm. I understand, Kite. I understand what you feel. And Pariston too. He doesn’t look down on you at all for stuff like this. We’ve both been through it…” Ging gave a weak smile. Kite had a question on his lips but he felt it better not to ask right now. There was a sort of warmth in his heart to hear Ging open up to him like that. Kite had been so absorbed in his own issues that he shut everyone out and didn’t even begin to think that other people cared about him, or that they could empathized. 

He gave a small smile back as he heard Pariston open the trunk. The blonde opened the driver side door and sat down.

“Everything okay?” He said, uncharacteristically tender.

“We’ll be better if you take the lead out of your pants so we can go get some green,” Ging snapped.

“Yeah, okay, remember who drove your high ass home from the 7/11 after you someone managed to get in a fight with the automatic door,” Pariston replied. Kite chuckled as he buckled his seatbelt. 

“No, dude. You don’t understand. It was coming after me,” Ging snapped, sticking his head in between the median. 

“But you’re damn seatbelt on or you’re going to have to explain to Jesus how you can lose in a fight against a damn door, Ging!” Pariston made a harsh turn to purposefully knock Ging over. He grumbled and put on his seat belt, nonchalantly placing his hand on top of Kite’s. Kite jumped at first, but once he saw Ging’s sheepish frown he took comfort in it. 

Kite seemed to understand Pariston and Ging a little bit more. Yes, they hated each other, but that’s what made them so close. They weren’t afraid to hurt each other’s feelings and in fact thrived on it. Kite didn’t know what they had both been through but he assumed that it made their connection so strong. The car ride was full of playful banter and childish insults until they pulled up into a gravel driveway. The house was large and intimidating, there was some plants out front that made it seem a little bit more cozy. There were only black curtains in the window and the grey paint on the outside was peeling. It looked more like a scene of a murder than anything else. The only indication that there was anyone living in the house was a shift in the curtains and a light switch turning on. There were some dead trees in the front lawn which wasn’t uncommon for this time of year. Still, the place had a weird vibe even from in the car.

“I’m coming in too,” Pariston said, unbuckling his belt. 

“No the fuck you are not! You just want to go in there because you want to blow everyone in that room,” Ging got out the car and pulled up his pants. 

“Who says I haven’t already,” Pariston sneered. Kite got out and closed the door, standing next to Ging. 

“You’re coming too?!” Ging said. 

“Am I… not allowed to?” Kite said softly. He reprimanded himself internally for not asking first.

“No, it’s fine. I just gotta warn you. These people are weird. There’s like, I don’t know 400 people living in that house for all I know. And there’s one, he has pink hair, he will hit on you. Like, it’s a guarantee. He might even smell you. Don’t make eye contact with him or else you might get an STD. And then there’s a really short guy, for the love of god, don’t say anything about his height. Oh, and the main dude. He’s got some weird leather fetish or something-”

“He’s soooo dreamy,” Pariston chimed in. “He looks like a Greek statue! He’s the most beautiful man you’ll ever see, but that’s the one I’m after so you better keep yourself in check.”

“Whatever. Anyway, these guys are pretty dangerous so I would just keep quiet, okay?”

Kite nodded trying to take all the information in. Ging scowled and walked up to the door with them. He rang the doorbell and glanced back at Kite. The door opened just a crack, held ajar by a chain. 

“What,” one of them said. All Kite could see was ivory skin and dark eyes.

“I’m here to see Boss,” Ging said. They were both equally cold to each other. 

“Is that Ging? Oh, Feitan, stop being a hard ass and let him in!” A smooth voice poured from behind the door. The one apparently named Feitan rolled his eyes and unhooked the chain, letting them in. Ging was not exaggerating when he said there were a bunch of people there. Kite did a quick headcount and tallied up about 10 that he could see. The curtains blocked out most of the light except for some candles and lamps lit around. Some of the people were on the couch or the floor watching TV, a trim blond man sat on the back of what looked like a cross between man and bear doing push ups while he was typing away at his phone. There were a few women as well, one was vacuuming and the other was knitting in an armchair. Kite felt the pink haired person Ging warned him about before he saw him. He came up behind him, almost matching his height and touched the small of his back. 

“Oh, it looks like he brought friends too,” He said. His voice felt like warm poison dripping down Kite’s spine. He had his bright pink and purple hair gelled back and a crop top with comfy sweatpants on. Even through those, Kite could tell he was well equipped. 

“How nice, come in, let me make you some tea,” the Boss said. Ging was also right about his leather fetish. He had tight leather pants and thick boots on, with a leather sleeveless shirt that seemed to be stretched to it’s limit across his broad chest. The only thing that was not leather on him was an out of place casual fur lined hoodie. The guests came in and sat at the dinner table while the man poured them cups of tea. Kite bowed his head and took the warm mug into his hand. Every dish they had was black.

The man sat at the table and blew on his tea. There was a strange silence as he took his first sip. 

“I don’t intend to stay long so if we could just-” Ging started.  A small and feminine finger in the air halted him. 

“We’ll get to that. But right now, I’m more interested in your guest,” he said. His eyelashes were long and enticing, and his face was fresh and smooth. Kite admired his pouty lips and upturned nose. His stormy grey eyes caught him like a spiders web.  He extended a perfectly manicured hand towards him. “And you are?”

Kite looked at the hand, then at Ging, and over to Pariston. Ging seemed impressed and gave him a little nod. Pariston was scowling and gritting his teeth. Kite delicately shook his hand. 

“Kite,” He whispered. 

“Charmed. I’m Chrollo,” he said, turning Kite’s hand over in his own and kissing the knuckle. Ging sat back in his chair, stunned. Pariston and him exchanged glances of ‘What the fuck’ before Kite was returned his hand. “A pleasure to have you in my home.”

Kite blushed and hid his smile in his cup. 

“The pleasure is mine,” he replied. 

“And what relationship do you have with these two gentlemen?” Chrollo blinked slowly, resting his chin in his hand. He ran his free hand through his hair and let it hang down around his face. His bangs almost covered up the cross tattoo on his forehead. 

“I’m Ging’s student,” Kite felt a fluttering in his stomach, he wasn’t sure if he was nervous or if the tea was spiked. Ging sat back and enjoyed watching Pariston go through the five stages of grief. 

“Oh? And what are you studying?” Chrollo tilted his head. He just oozed charisma. 

“I’m majoring in Biology and minoring in Anthropology. Ging is the assistant teacher in my Kappese class,” Kite felt like he was in high school again. 

“Ah, smart  _ and _ beautiful,” Chrollo winked. “A deadly combination.”

“Aren’t we here on business?!” Pariston finally interjected. 

“Yes, yes, my apologies. Mustn't mix business with pleasure,” Chrollo got up and went into another room, returning with a silk drawstring sack about the size of his head. “Here you go.”

“Thank you, as always,” Ging said, putting a wad of jenny in Chrollo’s free hand. 

“Of course,” He turned to Kite. “And will you participating in this event?”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Kite nodded nervously. 

“Then I shall be there too,” Chrollo looked at Ging with sultry confidence. 

“The more the merrier,” Ging replied. Chrollo walked them to the door like he was the king of the castle. He sauntered across the floor with a inviting yet intimidating aura. 

“Until then, Ging,” Chrollo leaned down and gave Ging two kisses on the cheek. Kite felt like he was in a Godfather movie. 

“What about meeee,” Pariston whined as he stepped in front of Kite. 

“And Pariston, my sunshine, of course,” he chuckled, kissing Pariston on the cheeks. Kite stiffened as he anticipated his turn. “And my moonshine, Kite,” he cooed, standing on his toes to give Kite his goodbye kisses. They waved goodbye and got back in the car. 

“They didn’t seem so bad,” Kite said, giving a small wave out the window to Chrollo.

“Let’s hope you stay on their good side,” Ging said, opening the flamboyant bag. He pulled out two gallon plastic baggies full of weed. “We be smokin’ and weedin’.”

Kite chuckled as Ging danced with the bags in his hand. 

“Oh, and a little gift for you, Pariston,” Ging said, pulling out a smaller bag of white powder. Pariston snatched it out of his hands and stuffed it in his pocket. 

“You don’t deserve to touch such high quality substances,” Pariston turned around in the driveway and started on their way back. Ging opened up one of his bags and stuffed his nose in. 

“Oh, yeah. Chrollo always hooks me up with the best stuff,” he sighed, passing the bag over to Kite. He gave it a little sniff. 

“Doesn’t smell like a high school bathroom at all,” Kite remarked. “Smells kind of minty.”

“This blend is supposed to be energizing, so we’ll see how it goes,” Ging raised and eyebrow and sealed the bags again.

When they got home, Pariston unloaded the groceries and cleaned while Ging cooked. It was all simple stuff, chicken wings, fries, pizzas, and other finger food. Kite offered multiple times to help but every time Ging told him to just sit and look pretty. He sat at the table and admired Ging’s concentration as he cycled foods out of the oven. Pariston set up the speakers and hooked up his iPod.

“Do we want the sex playlist or the hot mess playlist?” Pariston said, scrolling through his library.

“Hot mess playlist. Your sex playlist is crickets chirping, a bottle of wine opening, and sobbing in the bathtub,” Ging remarked, arranging the food he cooked on large plates.

“Yeah? And yours is the sound bootleg hentai, fish slapping on wet concrete, and tissues being pulled,” Pariston snapped back.

Ging glared at Pariston and then glanced softly over to Kite.

“People should start coming in an hour and a half if you want to get ready,” Ging commented. Kite nodded and started walking towards the stairs. He put his foot on the first step and looked over his shoulder. 

“Um,” he muttered. “Is it okay if I wear make up?” 

Ging looked up at saw the fear and anxiety in Kite’s eyes. His eyebrows were raised as he bit his lip. 

“Sure, but only if you do mine too,” He said with a grin. Kite’s face lit up.

“Sure!” He called before scampering up the stairs. 

“If you put makeup on a pig, it’s still a pig, Ging,” Pariston said. 

“If you put a crack whore in a glittery suit it’s still a crack whore,” Ging replied.

Kite took a quick shower and pulled his hair back into a ponytail while he slipped on his clothes. He packed a special outfit for the occasion. He put on an ivory sleeveless turtle neck with a little heart shaped keyhole above his chest showing the rose quartz pendant he had on. He slid into a pair of dark wash skinny jeans and laced up a pair of suede booties. He did simple makeup, filled in his eyebrows, a little cat eye, added a little blush and tinted lip balm. Ging leaned against the door frame as Kite put on his mascara in the bathroom.

“I’m almost done,” Kite said, slacking his jaw as he dragged the brush upward.

“Take your time,” Ging said warmly, admiring how Kite had to bend down to see himself in the mirror. Ging chuckled and joined Kite in the mirror. “Why do people open their mouth when they put on mascara?”

Kite shrugged and twisted the cap back on the mascara wand. Kite took a piece of toilet paper and wiped the excess eyeshadow away from under his eye and blinked down on it to catch the extra mascara. He looked over and Ging, his dark brown eyes gentle and kind. 

“You’re next,” Kite teased. Ging stared at Kite for a moment, absolutely lost in his beauty. He smiled foolishly and blushed and his heart fluttered like Kite’s long eyelashes. He put his hand on his chest to catch his breath. “What?” Kite said anxiously. 

“You look stunning,” Ging breathed. He wanted to give Kite a kiss but didn’t want to ruin his make up. Ging moved behind Kite and sat on the toilet seat. “Ok, do your worst,” he sighed. Kite laughed evilly and pulled out a pair of tweezers.

“First off, I’ve wanted to pluck your eyebrows since we met so This is a dream to me,” Kite chirped. Ging frowned at the excitement in his voice. Kite kneeled down and braced his hand against Ging’s forehead. “Ok, I’m going to start pulling.”

“Is it gonna h-GOOD GRIEF,” Ging yelped as Kite took out the first hair. He slapped his palm over his eyebrow and looked at it. “Am I bleeding?”

“No, you wimp,” Kite chuckled. “Now hold still.”

“I’ve been shot before but that hurts like a bitch!” Ging grumbled. He sat with his arm crossed as Kite continued to groom him. He winced at every hair and swore but was otherwise a trooper. Kite brushed off the loose hairs and handed him a compact. “Wow,” Ging said, pleasantly suprised. “I look a lot less angry.” 

“The goal isn’t to look angry, it’s fierce. Like this,” Kite raised his eyebrows and made a slightly pouty face. Ging laughed and imitated the look. 

“This is the same face I make when I take a shit,” Ging remarked. Kite smacked his arm playfully and went to work. He powdered Ging’s face and did a little contouring, filled in his eyebrows, and gave him an intense smokey eye with gold shimmery lids. Kite moved his face in closer as he concentrated on lining Ging’s upper lashline. Ging could feel his breath on his face and smell his perfume wafting off of him. He smelled sweet like rose water. He wish he could be this close to Kite all the time. Ging heard the popping sound of the mascara tube and looked up at Kite. 

“Okay, just blink like normal,” Kite whispered. Ging looked ahead at Kite and studied his face. He was so entranced by the way his nose hooked at the end or the way his lips naturally turned down that he forgot where he was. 

“You’re breathing in my mouth,” Ging griped. 

“Good thing I brushed my teeth today, huh?” Kite laughed and blew on Ging’s face. Ging got up and looked in the mirror.

“Dang,” He said, admiring himself. “You did a really good job! I don’t look like a troll anymore!”  

“Well, I wouldn’t go  _ that _ far…” Kite snickered. Ging hip checked him as they left the bathroom. 

“You’ve gotten snarky lately! I think the lemon in your tea is making you bitter,” Ging lead the way down the stairs.

“I know the sugar in your soda isn’t making you sweeter, that’s a fact,” Kite purposefully stepped on the back of Ging’s sneakers to make him trip on the stairs. He caught himself and glared back at Kite who was whistling nonchalantly. Pariston turned on the music and lit candles around the room. Ging bowed at the end of the steps. 

“What do ya think, Perry?” Ging did a few poses and blew a kiss. Pariston was unaffected.

“I didn’t know the circus was in town,” He said spitefully. “It looks good, Kite. Just not on Ging.”

Ging rolled his eyes and leaned towards Kite.

“He’s just jealous, don’t take anything he says personally,” Ging advised.

“Hm? Anytime he opens his mouth I just hear this high pitched ‘EEEEEEEEEEE’ sound,” Kite did a short squeal to imitate the sound. Ging burst out laughing and put an arm around Kite’s hip.

“Fuckin’ shots fired, babe,” Ging held his stomach as he laughed. There was a knock on the door. Pariston put his hand on the doorknob and turned around. 

“Please don’t embarrass me,” He said.

“You do that by your damn self, Perry, you don’t need me to do it for you,” Ging snapped. 

Pariston rolled his eyes and opened the door. 

They had a lot to party for and only a night to do it.


	6. Out of My Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ging, Kite, and Pariston host a party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> turn down for what

People started to filter in gradually as the night went on. They were mostly Pariston’s friends who dressed more like it was a modelling meetup than a casual party. Ging busied himself grinding up the weed, rolling joints and packing bowls. Kite hovered around him with a plastic cup with vodka and Sprite in it. Pariston bounced around the room chatting up everyone and making sure everyone was helping themselves to the alcohol and food. Cheadle showed up with a group of friends and said a few words to Ging and Kite but mostly stayed with her own clique.  

Ging assisted Pariston in mixing up drinks. Kite watched in amazement at their skill.

“You’re really good at that,” he remarked, starting to feel the warmth in his stomach. He went to take a drink but noticed the cup was empty. He looked at it for a moment and laughed. He held the cup out to Ging. “More please!”

“Alright, sweetie, I’ll make you that Sex on the Beach,” Ging mixed up the ingredients and poured the pink-ish drink into Kite’s cup. He noticed Kite’s eyes had an innocent type of droopiness to them as he smiled and thanked him. “Don’t tell me you’re drunk already?”

“I’m a little buzzed but I’m mostly just happy,” Kite said. He took a few sips of the drink and licked his lips. “This is yummy!”

“I took a few bartending classes, I like to think I know what I’m doing. I’m not too much of an alcohol person but I’m glad you like it,” Ging shrugged and munched on some chips.  

“C’mon, this is your party, let’s go enjoy it!” Kite took Ging’s hand and led him into the living room next to a few other people dancing and twirled himself. He stumbled a bit but Ging helped keep him upright. Kite took his free arm and slung it over Ging’s shoulder, guiding him to sway back and forth. Ging put his hands on Kite’s waist and held him close. Ging chuckled at Kite’s poor attempt to dance. 

“You’re drunk already, aren’t you?” He teased, patting on Kite’s lower back. 

“Not even close, give me a few more drinks and then maybe I will be,” Kite bobbed his head in beat with the song. “Oh, I fuckin’ love this song. Hold my drink.”

Ging took Kite’s cup which was already over halfway empty. Kite turned around and Ging raised an eyebrow. He flipped his hair and reached behind him and grabbed Ging by the hips, pinning him against the wall. Ging was caught off guard and looked with wide eyes as Kite began to grind on him. He dropped to the ground and then seductively rose back up, rubbing his legs as he went to accentuate his curves. He trailed his hands up over his head and turned around again, sliding them through Ging’s hair and down his chest. Flustered, Ging finished of Kite’s drink and set the cup on the ground. Kite pressed their waists together and deepened the touch by wrapping a long leg around Ging’s.

“Damn, um…” Ging stood there sweating as Kite continued to move enticingly. Kite smiled and rubbed their noses together in a conflictingly sweet gesture in comparison to his alluring display. 

“You’ve been calling me baby, and sweetie lately, what’s that all about? Hm?” Kite teased, rubbing Ging’s chest and swaying his hips. 

“I-um- well it’s just that- I thought- maybe?- I dunno- you’re just-” Ging stumbled over his words trying not to look Kite in the eye. He was hoping he wouldn’t have noticed. Kite winked with an intuitive eye as he tilted his head. 

“You need to loosen up,” Kite pulled himself off of Ging for a moment and walked towards the kitchen, looking at Ging from over his shoulder. “Why don’t we light up one of those joints?”

Ging’s heart fluttered as he followed Kite. Ging grabbed two joints and gathered the people around in a circle by the couch. There was about 10 people participating in the circle.  Pariston sat opposite of Ging and Kite was hooked on Ging’s arm. 

“Good to see you again,” a sultry voice said. Kite looked to his left and saw the beautiful face of Chrollo, blushed with booze.

“Chrollo! Oh, um, just between us,” Kite beckoned Chrollo to come closer and whispered. ”Pariston is trying to suck your dick!” 

“Oh, really? Well, Fei dear, what do you think about that?” Chrollo turned Feitan who was as grumpy looking as ever.

“I say, ‘Get in line’,” he snapped. Chrollo picked up Feitan’s tiny hand and intertwined their fingers. 

“Would you be opposed to including him in our next session?” Chrollo said. Feitan pulled his scarf down to reveal a smirk. 

“As long as he serves us both, it could be fun,” Feitan trailed a finger down Chrollo’s smooth jaw and pulled him into a kiss.

“Ok, everyone, the rules are: don’t hog, pass to your left, and keep it dry. I don’t want to get a wet roach at the end of this!” Ging called out. Ging and Pariston lit up and took a hit simultaneously. Ging took a hit and passed it over to Kite. He inhaled too quickly and deeply and ended up coughing. Puffs of smoke came out as he coughed and handed the joint to Chrollo. 

“Thank you, dear,” he said as he gingerly plucked the joint from Kite’s hands. He put his hands over his head like Ging had told him before and once he regained his breath he covered his face with his hands. Chrollo took a long and smooth inhale and then beckoned Feitan with a black-nailed finger. Both of them opened their mouth as Feitan sucked the smoke from between Chrollo’s lips in an erotic display. Kite watched intently as Feitan took his hit and did the same to Chrollo. Feitan handed the joint to a thin man with long hair almost like Kite’s but black.

“That was… hot,” Kite muttered, not realizing he said it out loud.

“That’s called shotgunning. You want to try it on the next round?” Ging leaned back on his hands and gazed at Kite. 

“I’m so embarrassed, I’d probably just cough in your face,” Kite cleared his throat.

“You’ll get used to it. When you cough that’s how you know it’s good. Even the pros like me cough. How do you feel?” Ging said. 

“I’m still kind of nervous, everyone here seems to know what they are doing but me,” Kite put his hands in his lap. Ging flopped his head to the side and looked at Kite with his soft puppy eyes. 

“Honey, no one cares. We are all drunk and high. Most people won’t even remember this happened tomorrow morning,” Ging assured. He felt a tap on his shoulder as it was his turn to smoke. “C’mere.”

Ging took a hit and cradled Kite’s jaw with his free hand as he let the smoke spill into the other’s mouth. Kite drew it in slowly to make sure he did not cough. He smiled, the vapour coming out through the gaps in his teeth. He returned the favor to Ging but instead of keeping themselves separate, he pressed his open mouth against Ging’s. Smoke and spit swirled around as Ging gasped in surprise. Once he realized that Kite did it on purpose, he softened, letting himself sink into the kiss. They pulled apart and gape at each other through the haze. Ging smiled first, and then both of them broke into a giggle. 

After both joints were burnt out, Kite bumped into Ging playfully.

“I think I have the munchies,” Kite said, laughing the whole time. 

“Let’s go get you some food then,” Ging stood up and helped Kite get to his feet. He stumbled and almost fell into the couch, so Ging sat him down there. “I’ll go get you something, just stay put.”

Ging went into the kitchen and got a plate of cookies, chips, and anything else he could find and a glass of water. When he walked back into the living room, Kite was spinning his head around. 

“Kite, are you okay?” Ging said, still not quite all there himself but definitely more than Kite. He crouched down and set the plate on Kite’s lap. 

“I can’t keep my eyes open. I’m so high. I’m so fucking high,” Kite said, blindly grabbing a fistful of chips and shoving them into his mouth. Ging sat next to him on the couch and touched his shoulder. His eyelids were so heavy and when he had his eyes open the world was spinning and shaking like a bad powerpoint transition. “There’s orange things in my eyes. They look like aliens! Orange globs everywhere.”

Ging watched carefully watched Kite eat, making sure he wouldn’t choke in his feeding frenzy. Kite crushed the cookies in his hands before eating them like an animal. He was laughing the whole time and tears were streaming down his face. He could hear the things around him but they were muddled and far away. He never felt so good in his life, like nothing in his body or brain hurt and he was just floating. He heard a voice that cut through all the others. 

“Don’t get chocolate on your new sweater,” the voice said. Kite opened his eyes and saw John Arbuckle in low budget 3D animation suspending in the air in the room. He blinked and he was gone. He looked over at Ging who was splayed on the couch with a gentle and reassuring hand on Kite’s thigh. 

“Kite, you are so high,” He said jokingly. 

Kite snorted and then buried his face in his arms. Ging didn’t register that he was actually sobbing until a few moments passed. He grabbed Kite’s shoulders and started hushing him. Kite wiped his eyes and in the process got chocolate on his sleeves. 

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Ging cooed. Kite looked at him with a reddened face. 

“That was so much weed. I’m just thinking about all that weed,” he wailed. “We smoked so much weed. It was so much I don’t know what to do. I’m thinking about all that weed.”

Ging wrapped an arm around him and stroked his head. 

“It’s okay, you’re okay. You’re okay, baby,” Ging hummed. Kite nodded and sat in silence for a moment. “What are you thinking about?” 

Tears started streaming down Kite’s face again, but more like a dripping faucet this time and not a burst pipe. 

“Chester Cheeto cares about furries. Tony the Tiger blocked them all on Twitter, but Chester Cheeto embraces them,” Kite sniffed and wiped his nose on his sleeve. Ging smiled like a fool and kissed Kite on his wet cheek. He gave little pecks on his jawline and eventually made it to his mouth. Kite felt comfortable as opposed to the other times when he was under the influence and felt numb. He kissed Ging back and ran a hand along his spine. Ging looked at Kite lovingly, placing a hand gently on his thigh. Kite leaned forward, pushing Ging’s hand closer to his crotch. 

“Kite?” he choked out. 

“I have a headache, do you think you could take me someplace to lay down?” Kite fluttered his eyelashes. Ging grew hot as he felt Kite’s breath on his ear. 

“S-sure. We can lay down- I mean you can-” Ging stumbled, his mind racing. Kite stood up and set his hands on his hips. “My room okay?”

Kite twirled his hair around his finger.

“Perfect,” he hissed.

“Let me just let Pariston know real quick,” Ging said, going into the kitchen to find Pariston. He was doing body shots off of a muscled man with a blonde bowl cut on the dinner table. Ging didn’t want to keep Kite waiting so he returned quickly. He walked Kite up the stairs with an arm around his waist. Suddenly he felt so nervous. Was he really going to have sex with Kite? Was it okay for him to have sex considering how high they were? Maybe Kite actually wanted to lay down. He tried to collect his thoughts but before he knew it he was in his room alone with Kite. The music pumped through the floor, making it harder for Ging to concentrate. He looked at the clock in his room, it was 1 AM. They party had been going on for 5 hours now.

Kite stood in front of the bed and stared Ging down. Ging stepped into the room.

“Do you want an aspirin or-Woah!-” Ging yelped out. He heard the door slam as Kite held both of wrists above his head with his hands and put his knee between Ging’s legs, pressing into his balls. Kite lean in and smelled the sweat on Ging. He sneered and pressed their chests together, pinning him against the door.

“I want you to fuck me, Ging,” he murmured, raising his knee to dig deeper into Ging’s loins. “I want you to pound me until no amount of medication can get rid of the ache in my body from you rawing me. I don’t want to be able to stand in the morning. I wanna feel your lust for days. Can you do that for me?”

Ging swallowed hard. Usually, he was the one in charge but being under Kite’s control was rather exciting. He felt a chill go down his back as he meekly nodded. Kite wasted no time and dove into Ging’s throat in a sloppy kiss. Ging could feel his pent up sexual frustration as he ripped his hair from the band and pulled at Ging’s clothes. Kite slipped his hands up Ging’s shirt and whipped it off of him, tossing it against the wall. He latched onto Ging with his nails and dug deep enough to leave marks.  Ging called out in pleasure as they fell on the bed in the frenzy. Ging tore off Kite’s shirt kissed all across his collarbone and neck. Kite moaned loudly. Ging hoped the music was loud enough no one heard them, otherwise he knew Pariston would interrupt. He fumbled with Kite’s pants for a bit until he pried them off of him. Ging paused for a moment and blushed. 

“You’re wearing a thong, were you planning this?” Ging watched Kite wiggle his hips as he sat up. 

“I’m so used to having sex almost every day I’m  _ starved _ ,” Kite begged. “I’ve been wanting you for a while, ever since you kissed me in this room before. I got addicted to your taste.”

Ging flushed as Kite yanked his pants off of him. Ging frotted against Kite, pulling on the band of his thong creating pressure on his crotch. He was already pretty wet which was more apparent as Ging pulled his thong down and kissed down his stomach. Kite sighed and spread his legs. Ging kissed Kite’s knees as he put them over his shoulders and savoured in the feel of his soft thighs against his face. 

“Kite, I’ve been wanting you too. I’ve been waiting for you to slip out of Genthru’s grip and into my arms. I love you so much,” He nibbled at Kite’s flesh and went for one last kiss. “Kite?”

His chest, garbed in a pale pink lacy bra, moved slowly and his eyes were close. His lips were parted and a slight snore came from his throat. He looked like a dream, but Ging knew that his kisses weren’t going to be as sweet if they were stolen. He chuckled to himself and pulled Kite’s panties up. He got up and turned the light off, sliding into bed next to Kite and pulling the blankets over them both. He kissed him on the forehead and placed his head next to his neck.

“Goodnight, you drunk fool.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to comment that the experiences of Kite being high are based on actual experiences I've had so, enjoy. It was fun to recount these memories!!


	7. Your skin makes me cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> honey nut feelios

The morning was full of soreness and stiff necks. Downstairs, Chrollo and Feitan were locked in each other’s arms on the couch, the final glass of wine hanging from Chrollo’s fingers. Kite slept face down with his face towards Ging, he hung a casual arm across his back. No one in the house was stirring, except for the mouse. A steady beat came from Pariston’s room despite their being no music. The surge of passion and lust had shifted from Ging’s room to the one down the hall. Ging was used to this noise, but it startled Kite.

His head shot up and he wiped the crust from his eyes. 

“Ging! I think there’s a fight,” Kite patted Ging’s cheek with his cold hands. He groaned and winced away.

“Jesus you have death hands,” Ging hissed out, opening one eye. He tilted his head to listen. “Nah, that’s just Perry bumping uglies with some dude.”

He plopped his head back on the pillow and squinted at Kite, his eyes not yet adjusted to the sunlight bouncing off his skin. Kite’s eyes were slightly puffy from crying about cereal mascots and stoner coded safari animals, and his eyes were dark with fatigue. Kite sat up and stretched, his bones audibly moving as he let out a pleasurable groan. He cracked his neck and his knuckles before letting out a gasp. 

“Ging!” He said, grasping at his chest. He crossing his arms in front of him to cover himself. “Ging did we-” He lifted the blanket and saw both of them were only in their underwear. “Did we fuck? Oh my god did we have sex?” 

Ging chuckled and leaned on his side, a calm composure compared to Kite’s worked up state.

“Relax. We did a little kissin’ and grindin’ but nothing else. You fell asleep,” Ging said. 

Kite sighed and laid back down. 

“That’s right, I remember now. Um…” Kite bit his lip, his cheeks rosy. “Sorry about coming onto you so hard. And grinding on you. And kissing you. Can we forget this ever happened actually?”

“Do you want to?” Ging hummed. He looked at Kite through dark eyelashes and slid his hand to just touch the end of his pale fingers. Kite whipped his head to look at Ging, his hair falling over his shoulder. “Even though I was high, I still meant it when I said I liked you.”

He blushed like a child admitting his first crush. Kite inhaled sharply and looked all around the room. He figured Ging’s confession was just a drug induced accident. Despite everything, Kite was still scared of Ging’s affection. Looking at him, there was something there, some flower blooming in the basement, surviving despite the darkness. He felt it in his chest and it tingled in his fingers when they touched. 

“I have to study today. I’d rather stay in bed,” Kite sulked. 

“No rush,” Ging cooed. Kite laid back down and pulled the blanket up to cover himself.

“The final is Monday.”

“You have all afternoon and night tonight and all day tomorrow. Plus, you have a handsome friend who happens to be an expert on the subject. You’ll do fine,” Ging grinned and brushed a piece of hair out of Kite’s twisted face. His eyebrows were furrowed together as he nibbled on his nails. 

“Yeah but, what do we do? The semester ends… I won’t see you anymore. Not to sound so rom com but I don’t know what to do without you.” 

Ging leaned on his elbow and took Kite’s hand out of his mouth, bring it to his own in a chaste kiss. 

“Do you think you’d get rid of me that easy? I don’t know what you do but you got me hooked. I can’t just drop someone like you after a few months, after what we’ve been through especially. I told you, I like you,” Ging said sweetly. Kite looked back at him with a constipated face. He wanted to believe him with all his heart, but part of him was still afraid. Even though Ging had proven himself many times over, Kite knew he would drive him away somehow. He clenched his jaw, trying to keep whatever emotion was boiling in him contained. As if he knew, Ging asked, “What’cha thinking about?”

“I think I like you too,” Kite whispered. His eyes darted over to Ging who shone with a elated smile. “But I’m still worried. We aren’t going to see each other much after Monday, so I don’t want to start something if it’s going to die off anyway.”

Ging pulled Kite closer to him, his well toned stomach pressed against his tiny waist. 

“I’m not letting you go that easily. What are you doing for break? Are you visiting your parents?”

“My parents don’t want me home. I disgraced them.”

“Oh. Sorry, I…” Ging cursed in his head for killing the mood.

“It’s alright. They are boring anyway. I was just gonna stay at the dorm, I guess. I usually went to Genthru’s.”

“How about you come and visit my parents with me? I think the beautiful island sun will do you good. Put a little colour on you maybe. Clear waters, blues skies, and I have a pretty cute dog too.”

“A dog? Oh, what about my animals though…”

“Bring ‘em. My parents are both retired and would love to take care of your animals even if you’re at school. A mini 2 hour road trip and then right onto a ferry, they even take your car, you just drive onto it. It’s about a 2 and a half hour trip all together. It’s their anniversary so they are gonna be gone the whole first week anyway. We’ll have a whole week to ourselves.”

“We’ll be alone?”

Ging nodded. 

“Is that alright?”

Kite chuckled.

“Are you going to just keep leaning into me and stare or are you going to kiss me?”

Ging blushed, not realizing he had been subconsciously moving more onto Kite as the conversation progressed. He looked at Kite’s lips with hunger blinked sleepily.

“If you kiss me you have to keep me,” Ging teased, skimming his hand along Kite’s neck. The bruising from the attack was almost gone now, it was all mostly deep purples and yellow splattered across his eggshell skin. It was inviting, he wanted to add new marks that showed real love and not obsession.

“I’d love to meet your parents. And your dog,” Kite glided his hand through Ging’s hair, stopping to play with his ear lobes.

“Ooh, those are sensitive. Be careful, you might put me in the mood,” Ging sang. Kite snickered and placed his lips feather light onto Ging’s, unsure but hopeful. The kiss deepened as Ging pressed the back of Kite’s head towards him. They broke apart for a moment and gazed starry eyed at each other. The sleepy haze hadn’t left Kite’s shining eyes yet, giving him a dreamy aura. Ging still had a slight hangover and his lover’s bright skin was almost too much. Kite looked down and Ging followed his gaze. He laid his long legs over each other and seemed to be squirming. Kite licked his lips with on oddly innocent look on his face. 

“I’m still kind of horny, and hearing Pariston is kind of getting me going,” Kite whined. Ging raised an eyebrow and traced the lines down Kite’s throat.

“Maybe I can give you a hand,” Ging said in a low voice. He kissed at Kite’s neck, his stubble prickling his skin. Kite reacted immediately, open his mouth and drawing in air. He ghosted his fingers over Kite’s torso, avoiding the breasts, but leaving enough sensation that he could feel it with the hairs on his body. Goosebumps broke out on his arms as he sighed. Ging toyed with Kite’s earlobe, the sound of Ging’s spits so intense in his ear driving Kite more over the edge. 

“Come on, fuck me,” Kite finally moaned. “Come on, I know you gotta good one let me have it.”

Ging slid his arm behind Kite’s head so he was in the crook of his shoulder. He adjusted and moved to the other ear. Kite turned on his side to compensate, leaving his back over for exploring.

“Not so fast, kitten. I don’t want to take you just yet.  However, we’re not leaving this room until you cum for me. Can you do that for me, baby?” Ging whispered. Kite shivered against his athletic body.

“Yes,” Kite hissed. Ging turned his gentle fingers into claws as he dug at Kite’s spine. He called out, letting Ging know he had done well. 

“Shh, keep quiet, there are other people in the house, baby,” Ging hushed, sliding his hands around the waistband of Kite’s black thong. “Can I touch you?”

“Yes,” Kite moaned.

He jerked as Ging took his hands completely off of him and left him starved.

“Where are your manners?” Ging said in an authoritative tone.

“Yes, please,” Kite whined. He started to tap the bed with apprehension.

“Much better,” Ging sang, pulled the band and snapping it against his hip. He busied himself again with Kite’s mouth as he felt around on the outside of the fabric. “This okay?”

Kite heaved in a staggering breath. He nodded swiftly.

“More,” Kite begged. “More, please.”

He stared glassy eyed at the ceiling with a pained expression on his brow. Ging knew this was because he was aching for more. He used one arm to hold him close to him for security and the other to explore him, with permission. He knew too well he was on battered grounds and would rather be seen as a friend and not a foe. He could feel the edges of his labia and the dampness that had already accumulated. He was sweet, compassionate, which was what Kite needed but didn’t want. Ging noticed the little white and red lines of scars and new marks as kissed his collarbone. Kite moved so much his bra straps hung loosely by his shoulders. He lifted his hips up as Ging put his hand down the front.

Kite had become very particular about his pubic hair because Genthru was. He felt that any hair was an inconvenience and waxed, shaved, or used removing creme to get rid of it religiously. He also took very good care of his skin so that when Ging cleared past the waistband it was like suede. Kite grabbed the sheets as Ging used his index finger to tease around his opening. Kite’s legs clamped shut as a reaction. 

“Hey, now, open up for me, hm? You’re doing so good, you’re so sweet and soft I can’t wait to eat you up,” Ging said, rubbing circles around his clit. 

“Eat me? You mean-!!” Kite covered his face in a contained squeal. 

“Oh, you’re shy now?” Ging teased, sliding a finger in. Kite slapped his hands down on the bed and grabbed onto Ging’s arm. 

“No, it’s just-oh-Genthru never-ah-never did oral on meeeee,” Kite sang as Ging curled his finger.

“Right there?” Ging smirked mischievously.

“Mmm, you’re enjoying yourself aren’t you? Watching me squirm and squeal at your command,” Kite scoffed. Ging chuckled as he bit at Kite’s lips. He could feel Ging’s hard on pressed against his thigh.

“Not as much as you are, sweetie. How about another one?” Ging said. Kite started rocking his hips trying to get Ging’s fingers deeper. As soon as they hit a good spot, Ging withdrew again. He leaned against the headboard with pillows supporting his back and his legs spread out. “Sit in my lap,” He commanded, patting his upper thigh. Kite crawled into his grip, pressing his back against Ging’s chest, feeling his pounding heartbeat. Ging swung Kite’s legs over his so he could could them open. 

Kite realized they were right in front of the door, he was being displayed spread eagle. 

“I hope no one comes through that door,” he joked.

“I hope someone does,” Ging replied, pressing his tongue to Kite’s neck. “Such a handsome boy you are, I’m so lucky to have you to myself. Are you mine? Do you want to be mine?”

Kite groaned as he quickened the pace. 

“Yes! Yes, I’m yours. Yes. Oh god, yes. Please. I’m yours. Please take me,” Kite yelped out in pleasure, arching his back as using Ging’s legs as leverage. In all the motion, one of Kite’s breasts fell out of his bra and jiggled with the gyrations. Ging didn’t see it and Kite didn’t care. 

“Hush, baby. You’re a noisy little kitten aren’t you?” Ging used the hand he was keeping Kite’s head to the side by sticking his fingers in his mouth. Kite felt him scissor his tongue and hold it, pulling it out. Kite still moaned loudly, he hadn’t felt so good in a long time. Ging’s fingers were pumping at a pretty fast pace and he could feel orgasm building up in his muscles. 

“You,” Kite managed to get out. “Let me -oh- please-ah- you-ooh.”

Ging pulled out his fingers in a swift motion and moved from behind Kite. He guided him softly onto the bed and crouched between his legs. 

“Seeing your pleasure is enough for me today,” Ging braced Kite’s thighs against his shoulders and pulled down Kite’s underwear. Ging admired Kite’s glistening lips as he pulled them apart a glanced up at Kite’s face. He was a wreck, sweating, blushing, biting his lip and heaving. His eyelashes were like the wings of hummingbirds, fluttering so gracefully. 

Kite let out a concerned moan.

“Are you nervous?” Ging said, more out of worry than trying to be sexy. He propped himself on his elbows and rested his head on the side of Kite’s thigh. “Will telling you what I’m going to do make you feel better?”

Kite nodded. Ging pressed a finger into his clit and rubbed gingerly, making sure he was paying attention. 

“I’m going to use my tongue and lips to taste every inch of your sweet skin. First, i’m going to start out with the outer labia and get those nice and wet. Then I’ll go to your inner labia and taste those. You’re going to feel my hot tongue enter you and feel every bump and fold you have. Then once I know my territory I’m going to keep you open with my fingers while I tongue fuck you until you melt in my mouth. Okay?”

Kite whimpered and Ging left a trail of kisses on his inner thigh. 

“You doing okay?” Ging said, slowly spreading Kite’s wetness across his skin. 

Kite pressed his mouth into a hard line.

“I hope I taste alright,” Kite muttered, peeling his hair off the back of his neck. Ging set his chin on Kite’s pubic bone, his stubble contrasting with the smoothness of Kite’s skin. 

“Well, you already smell irresistible,”  Ging commented, spreading kisses across his hips. 

“I trust you,Ging,” Kite said, looking down at him through the lace on his bra. He realized his boob had been hanging out, but oddly the sight didn't want to make him puke. Instead he grasped his chest and thumbed his nipple a bit. “Go ahead.”

“Just tell me to stop if you wanna,” Ging replied, watching Kite’s face carefully as he stuck his tongue out and gave a gentle lick just on the outside of his labia. Kite inhaled, moaning lowly as he let the breath out. He was still nervous, not used to being the focus of the attention so he wasn't sure what to do. Ging pulled himself closer, the legs dangling over his shoulder started to twitch at the toes. Kite’s back arched and Ging slipped his hand around Kite’s waist, using his free hand to aid in the sensations. He focused his tongue on the clit while he toyed with his opening. Kite’s skin was so soft against his face and so warm in his mouth, if all the other people he gave oral to were fast food take out, Kite was a five star diner where it costs 50 jenny just to get a class of tap water. Ging hummed, tasting his way down to Kite’s orifice, pressing his nose against his clitoris. He shook his head back and forth as he sucked a lip into his mouth. He could hear Kite’s nails scratch against the bed sheet as he grabbed at it. 

“Oh, Ging…” Kite whispered as he covered his mouth. He bucked his hips against Ging’s face and he took the hint. Ging pulled back for a breath and wiped his mouth. 

“You're delicious, baby, Genthru was really missing out. How ya holding up?” He said, looking up at his lover. 

Kite’s face was completely pink and his eyes were barely open. 

“I feel like i'm melting,” he breathed, sinking into the bed. “It feels so good.”

Ging chuckled. 

“You taste like you're melting too,” Ging added. 

“Don't be afraid to…” Kite looked away in shame. “Never mind.”

“You sure?” 

Kite covered his face with his hand. 

“Don't be afraid to use your teeth. I like it… when it hurts a little,” Kite crossed his arms and refused to look Ging in the eyes. He just stared in awe, his heart in his throat. Kite glances over a few times but didn't keep a gaze long enough to stick. 

“You got quiet all of a sudden… Did I weird you out?” Kite said worriedly, snapping his legs together. 

“Can I kiss you?” Ging said, sitting up on his knees. 

“The man sticks his tongue in my vagina and asks if he can kiss me. Yes, you can kiss me. You don't have to ask, idiot.”

Ging leaned forward  and placed a hand on Kite’s shoulder, locking their lips together. He opened his mouth and let Kite’s tongue find its way in. After a few moments of tongue tango, Kite pulled away leaving a trail of spit in between them. Kite licked his lips. 

“Is that what I taste like? Not too different from from cock I guess.”

“Thank you for trusting me. Don't worry, i'm going to make you feel good. I love you.”

Kite smirked and opened his legs again. 

“Put your money where your mouth is,” Kite replied. 

Ging smiled back and went back to work with gusto. He darted his tongue in and out of Kite, lapping up his juices, digging his tongue on as deep as it would go. He could feel the different textures inside and his muscles contract. Kite hissed in gratitude as pulled out his tongue. Spit and bodily fluids made his lips shine as he put his first three fingers inside with ease. He enveloped Kite's clit in his mouth and did a steady pattern of sucking, nibbling, and licking. They couldn't hear Pariston anymore over their own gasps and moans. Gings fingers squeaked and squelched as he pushed against Kite’s cervix. His body jerked each time he touched the muscled wall. Ging hummed, giving a vibration to Kites cocktail of sensations. 

Kite made a sound that could have been his name but it was choked down by the recitation of another name. 

“God, holy shit,” Kite whined, leaning up on his elbows. He panted with his mouth open, licking his swollen lips from biting. “Fuck. Fuck, Ging. Please fuck me. Please give me your cock.”

“Not today, baby. It’s all about your pleasure today,” Ging grazed his teeth over Kite’s sweaty skin. 

“Shit, Ging, um,” Kite gasped. “I think I might…”

Ging laughed. 

“You gonna cum for me? Hm, baby? Does it feel good?” 

Kite grabbed a handful of his black hair and shoved Ging’s face down. Kite made pitiful noises, mewling and digging his fingers into Ging’s scalp. His breathing became erratic as his muscles tensed. Ging felt it on his fingertips before Kite let out one final cry. His legs shook against Ging’s back as he lifted his head to watch his face. Kite shuddered delightfully and swallowed hard as he gasped for air. Ging slowly pulled out his fingers, slick with Kite’s slime and wiped up some of the excess. 

“It's been… so long,” Kite breathed, tossing his hair over his shoulder. He looked down at Ging who was waiting for his attention. “Sorry about-” 

Kite snapped his mouth shut. Ging licked his fingers slowly, getting every last drop of Kite’s orgasm. 

“You taste as sweet as you sound, baby,” Ging grinned mischievously. 

“Sorry about being so loud,” Kite whispered as he put his breast back into his bra. 

“No apologies, it was super hot. Want to borrow a pair of my boxers? Your underwear is kind of…” He picked it up off the bed and it glistened, creamy white at the crotch. 

“Yikes. Yes, thank you,” Kite slipped on a pair of Ging’s grey boxer briefs and a loose shirt. He stretched as he stood up, feeling the relaxing release of orgasm heavy in his limbs. Ging wiped his hand on a tissue and tossed it in the bin. He adjusted his clothes and combed through his hair. Kite tilted his head and smiled, adoring Ging while he groomed himself. He leaned over and put his arms around Ging’s shoulders, giving him a sweet kiss on the cheek. He felt the warmth of his blush against his lips. Kite borrowed a brush from Ging’s desk and started brushing his own hair. It had gotten incredibly disheveled during the encounter. The moment was intimate, but awkward. They weren't really sure where they stood with each other now, with feelings realized and emotions and bodies bare.  _ Should I kiss him? Should I hold him? Are we dating? Was that just a drug induced hook up? _ They looked at each other in the mirror on the wall in a strange silence. 

“What do you want for breakfast, babe?” Ging said after a few moments of silence. 

“Just some toast and coffee. Nothing fancy,” Kite replied. 

They snuck out of the room, trying to not draw attention to themselves. At the other end of the hall, Pariston emerged with a dewy glow that was only outshined by Kite. The pair of lovers stared at each other in the hallway.

 

“Well,” Pariston said, a smug smile on his face. The blond man with a bowlcut behind him wasn’t paying attention, he was on his phone as he had been the whole night.

 

“Well,” Ging replied, a tired tone to his voice.

“I should be leaving. Don’t be afraid to call me again, boo,” The buff blond started down the stairs and winked at Pariston. 

“Bye, Shal. Next time show me what ‘Autopilot’ is!” Pariston called out before scanning the two before him. “It’s about time you know. I was getting sick of watching you two beating around the bush now I’m glad you’re hiding the hotdog in the bush.”

Ging rolled his eyes.

“Keep dreamin’ because we aren’t like that,” Ging looked over at Kite who had a dreamy look on his face.

“Riiiiight,” Pariston said, walking down the steps. The other two followed behind him. Chrollo and his gang were getting ready to leave by the time they made it to the area but the kitchen. 

“My, my, I’d say the sun was in the room with us! Kite, dear,” Chrollo sang, looking equally beautiful. He leaned over and gave air kisses to Kite’s cheeks. “I had a wonderful time, please, don’t be strangers. We would all love to hang out again another time!”

They exchanged pleasantries and goodbyes as the gang filed out of the house. With everyone finally gone, Ging started making breakfast, Kite and Pariston helped clean up. In this domestic moment, Pariston didn’t seem so bad to Kite. Perhaps it was because they had both been laid, but they seemed to be in harmony this morning. Ging turned on the radio and sang along as he made pancakes. Kite and Pariston danced around the kitchen as they loaded the dishwasher and took out the trash. They looked like a drunken Disney movie. They ate with light arguing on whether natural syrup is better, and whether or not you put syrup on the pancake directly or if you put syrup on the side. They put their dishes away when they were done eating and lounged around in the kitchen. Pariston was unloading the dishwasher and putting mugs away in the cabinet. 

“So, tell me about it!” He chirped.

“About what,” Ging replied. Despite being in a good mood, his voice never showed it.

“About your first time together! I want to know everything!” Pariston flashed a smile and leaned against the counter. 

“We didn’t do what you think we did,” Ging scowled and sipped from his coffee mug.

Pariston raised his eyebrows and shifted his gaze to Kite. 

“What do you have to say about that?” Pariston batted his eyelashes.

“Perry, I don’t kiss and tell,” Kite said teasingly.

Something in the room shifted. It went cold suddenly. There was a sound of breaking glass and a shout, the scuffing of feet and the whine of furniture against the floor. 

“Don’t-!!” Ging collided with Pariston in an aggressive hug.

“You! You don’t call me that!” Pariston strained against Ging’s grip. Kite had jumped back and tried to make himself small. Ging’s eyes had a glassy look to them, his face was blank yet soft. 

“Shh, Pariston,” Ging cooed. He held the raging man securely and pressed his head into his shoulder. Pariston grabbed at his back and shook. 

“She can’t get me, right, Gigi?” He whined like a child. 

“I’m sorry, I heard Ging use that name and I thought-” Kite started before shrinking again. 

“You don’t know what that name means. You don’t know… what she did,” Pariston sniffed and buried his face deeper into his friend.

“You’re safe, Perry. C’mon, let’s get you safe. Breathe with me,” Ging whispered as Pariston’s breath escaped him. Ging led him up the stairs and into his room. Ging closed the door sat Pariston on the bed. Kite sat on the steps filled to the brim with self hatred, it was coming out of his eyes. 

Pariston’s room was more like a teenage girl’s room than a mid 20 year old man. There was a lot of shiny things, and despite wearing a suit every chance he got, it was a mess. Clothes and patterning paper was everywhere, magazines hung on the wall and sketches scattered across his desk.

His bed was full of overstuffed pillows and stuffed animals. Ging slid under the comforter with him.

“Do you want me to hold you?” Ging said quietly. Pariston wiped his eyes and laid his head on Ging’s chest. He matched his breathing with Ging and started to calm down.

“How can you be so calm?” Pariston inhaled Ging’s smell. It reminded him of the good parts of his high school years. 

“I’m still kind of high. Do you want to get high? Should I pack you a little bowl?” Ging ran his fingers through Pariston’s salon softened hair. He nodded his head and ached when he felt Ging’s warmth leave him. He tiptoed out of the room and Kite shot up and took a step forward. 

“Ging- I didn’t-I never meant to- I’m so-tell him-” Kite stumbled. Ging put his hand up.

“It’s okay, you didn’t know,” Ging went into his room and got his small green glass pipe. “I got it handled, just, hang tight for a moment. We’ll be fine after we talk it out a bit.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

“No.”

Ging reached a hand out and wiped Kite’s tears with a weak smile on his face. He went back into Pariston’s room and got back under the blankets. They leaned against the wall as Pariston took the first hit. He blew the smoke out his nose and let his head hang before passing it back to Ging.

“Talk to me,” Ging said, knowing very well his friend was starting to leave his body. 

“Would it be too much to ask for you to fuck me right now?” Pariston looked over with sleepy eyes. Ging raised an eyebrow as he flipped the lighter. He exhaled and coughed a little bit. 

“Uh, yeah, it would. Sorry, I’m sort of-”

“I know you’re with Kite now. I thought it wouldn’t hurt to try,” Pariston replied taking the pipe back. “Don’t worry, I know we aren’t good for each other.”

Ging put his hand on Pariston’s thigh. 

“I don’t regret being with you. I just wish it had been under different circumstances.”

Pariston toked. 

“I’m so sorry, I hope you wouldn’t have been involved, I wish she left you alone, it was me she was after,” Pariston felt his stomach turn, thinking about her cold fingers. “It’s all my fault.”

Ging put the pipe on the bedside table and embraced Pariston. 

“No, it’s not at all. What she did to us was wrong, you know that? We were kids, we didn’t know,” Ging leaned his head onto Pariston’s shoulder.

“I still have nightmares about it,” Pariston whispered.

“Me too,” Ging replied.

They sat there for a moment, foreheads together, silently letting tears fall into their laps. The weed calmed them down, but it did not quiet their minds. Outside the door, Kite crouched against the wall and dug his nails into his arms. How could he have been so reckless? If he thought Pariston hated him before, he absolutely despised him now. Maybe so would Ging. One word and he fucked up two relationships. He jumped when the door opened a crack.

“Hey,” Pariston said with a weak voice. “We’re passing around a bowl, do you want to join?”

Kite looked up confused. He stood up and followed Pariston to his room, sitting at the foot of the bed. Everyone was red-eyed.

“Pariston, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to trigger you at all, I feel horrible, if there’s anything I can do…” Kite took the bowl in his hand. 

“Don’t worry about it, I’m fine now,” Pariston said, melting into the bed. “I’m more worried about Ging.”

Kite perked his ears up and looked over at Ging who was staring at his hands, eyes vacant and face blank. “He’s not very good with expressing his emotions. That’s why he smokes weed all the time.”

“Hey. It was prescribed to me,” Ging said. Although it was a snarky comment, there was no feeling behind it. “The other pills messed with me.”

The room filled with smoke until nothing was left but ash. All three of them sort of laid there, not sure what to do or say, closer than the three of them have been before.

“Ging, stop dissociating and talk to us,” Pariston said, flapping a hand onto Ging’s shoulder. 

“Nothin’ to talk about,” he replied. “I don’t want to get Kite involved in this mess. It’s behind me now.”

“If anyone understands us, Ging, it’s Kite,” Pariston sat up and moved closer to the wall. He looked at Kite and patted the space in between him and Ging. Kite shuffled and laid in between them. Pariston put Ging’s hand on Kite’s, and his own on Kite’s free hand. Kite was slightly uncomfortable but too high to really care. He knew that Pariston was vulnerable in this state and empathized with him.

“He has enough to worry about,” Ging said.

“I’m already worried about you. If you don’t want to talk, it’s okay,” Kite said with a twinge of disappointment. 

Ging was silent for a moment and took in a shaky breath.

“Please don’t think less of me,” Ging’s voice sounded forced.

“What happened, Ging?” Kite said. 


	8. Size Too Small

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was the best man in a size too small  
> You were my best friend, going at it all  
> -Sufjan Stevens, Size to Small

Pariston gripped his controller with sweaty hands. The hum of the console was drowned out by the clicking of buttons and the snap of the control stick. The air was tense as both boys stared at the screen with ultimate focus. Thirty frames per second flashed before their eyes as their pupils darted around, watching for every tech, every wavedash and an opening to strike. Pariston was finally glad to have someone his age to play video games with. Ging was in his class, a foreign boy with braces who was short statured and short tempered. He had been over many times before, but this was the first time he was staying the whole weekend. Pariston was beating him so far, they both had one life left and Pariston had more health. He’d been playing this game for years as opposed to Ging who picked it up a few months ago. Ging played with his head, calculating every move and predicting his opponent while Pariston played with his body, purely on instinct and habit. The blond boy leaned up as he was about to use his final move which would defeat Ging, but also leave him stunned for a moment. The character drew back for the punch, it had all been building up to this.

The garage door opened, Pariston’s muscles atrophied, his final move interrupted and Ging was able to step out of the way. Pariston wasn’t even looking at the screen when his character flew off the stage and announced Ging the winner. 

“Ah man, good game! You totally had me!” He clapped Pariston on the back and grinned. Pariston came back into himself and gave a half smile. 

“Yeah,” He said. 

“Boys? Can you come help me unload groceries?” A woman called. Pariston held his breath and put his controller down. 

“Ah, your mom is home. Let’s go help!” Ging shot up and headed for the door. Pariston’s bones struggled against him as he followed Ging down the stairs. 

“Perry, be a good boy and help me put away the groceries while Gigi brings them in,” the woman said with a smile. She was a little taller than Pariston with the same flouncy honey coloured hair that she kept out of her face with a headband. She was a little heavier but carried most of the weight in more desirable places on her chest and hips. She was a lawyer and always wore a very finely tailored pencil skirt and blazer. Her black pumps clicked on mahogany paneled floor. The Hill’s where a very well off family to begin with, Pariston’s father was the mayor and after the recently settled divorce, Pariston’s mother was comfortably cushioned by child support payments. Much to the jealousy of others, Pariston had all the new gadgets and any material thing he wanted he could get just by the wave of his hand. Ging was especially envious, growing up on a small island with parents who were fishermen like their family had been for generations. Ging didn’t see a cordless phone until he moved to mainland Yorbia.

Ging nodded his head as he went out to the mini SUV. Pariston watched in fear from the kitchen window as he mindlessly put cereal on the shelf. He felt a cold hand on his shoulder.

“Have you been a good boy, Perry?” She cooed, rubbing his shoulders. He lowered his head nodded. 

“Yes, Mama,” he said automatically. 

“Are you having fun with your friend?” She said. He could hear the poison dripping from her lips.

“Yes, Mama,” he replied. She watched Ging as he tried to fit as many bags as he could on his arm. 

“Mm. He’s quite athletic. Does he like to swim, Perry?” She ogled the young boy through the window. It was almost summer, so Ging just wore a tank top and shorts. Although he was a late bloomer and was just starting to show signs of puberty, it was treating him very well. His muscles were becoming more defined and his chest and shoulders were broader than Pariston’s. His voice was still shaky but when it cracked it was charming. 

“He lived on an island, I would be surprised if he didn’t,” Pariston said, closing the cupboard. Ging came in the front door and set all the bags on the floor. He rubbed his arm where the handles had been digging into his skin. He was misted with sweat and flexed his arms. 

“Pretty good, eh?” He gloated. He lifted the hem of his shirt and wiped his face, exposing flat stomach and toned chest. Pariston blushed.

“Thank you so much, Gigi,” Pariston’s mother said.

“No problem, Mrs. Hill. I should be done in one more load!” He said excitedly as he stretched out his arms. 

“Please, call me Angelica,” She smiled, and Pariston shivered.

“Ok, Angelica. I’ll be right back!” Ging bounded out the door to get the last of the groceries. Pariston pressed his mouth into a hard line and turned away from them. He knew that the spider had caught another helpless bug in the web, but he wished with all he could, that it wouldn’t be _ him _ . He had finally made a friend and she was going to ruin him.

“Mama, please,” Pariston’s voice shook. He turned around and threw himself at her, throwing his open arms at her, clinging to her like she wanted. “Please, I’ll let you do whatever you want to me, I don’t want you to see anyone else. I want to be your one and only! Please don’t go after Ging, I love you! Perry loves his Mama!” He could taste the bile rise in his throat. Angelica held his chin.

“Don’t worry, Perry. Mama will still play with you, you just have a playmate now!” She giggled in that way that people found charming but it made Pariston’s skin crawl. He took a deep breath. 

“If you go after him, I’ll tell,” Pariston’s voice changed. His voice was dark and serious, but she could hear the underlying fear. 

“And risk losing me? Perry, I’ve told you before, no one will love you like I do,” She hissed, stroking a hand against his cheek. Pariston dropped his arms defeatedly as Ging came in with the last load of groceries. He busied himself with putting the groceries away just how she liked them, just like she taught him.

The weekend went on without incident, although Pariston had been going through bouts of being clingy and distant towards Ging. When asked what was wrong, he always attributed it to the divorce, but Ging knew something else was going on. He knew that when his friend was ready to talk, he would.

One of the nights that Ging stayed over, Pariston had been especially strange. They had been lying on the mattresses on the floor that made up their bed, watching TV and playing on their phones. They gossiped about the people in their class.

“You know Cheadle has a crush on you, right?” Pariston teased.

“What? The girl with 20 dogs?” Ging replied. 

“Yeah, I overheard her talking to her friends about how hot you are. She’s got a pretty good rack, I’d go for it,” Pariston rolled onto his back.

“I’m not a furry, sorry,” Ging laid perpendicular to him and put his head in the space between his shoulder and head. 

“What about Nia from Geography? I heard she gives good blowjobs. Honestly, you could have any girl you wanted,” Pariston said. Ging frowned and shifted uncomfortably. 

“Can I tell you somethin’?” Ging said quietly, his cheeks flushing a little bit. 

“Yeah?” Pariston said curiously. Ging took a deep breath and side. 

“I don’t really care about sex, I dunno, like… I don’t really feel turned on,” Ging set his phone on his chest. “Is that weird?”

Pariston waited for a moment.

“Well, you are a late bloomer,” Pariston said, half sarcastically. 

“Even when I jack off, I don’t think about anything. Like I can still bust a nut but...I dunno. I still want to date and stuff, and it feels good when I jack off but like… I haven’t really met anyone that gives me the spark they always talk about, you know?”

“Do you still have crushes on people?”

“Yeah… I get them real bad,” Ging’s heart was pounding.

“Maybe you’ll find someone. Maybe you won’t. It happens,” Pariston said blankly. “‘Till then I guess you’ll have to jerk off alone,” He joked. 

Ging rolled onto this stomach and looked over at Pariston with a troubled expression. 

“What about you? Do you have any crushes? I’m sure a bunch of girls would love to go out with you,” Ging said. 

“I don’t really like girls, Ging,” Pariston admitted, darting his eyes away.

“I don’t really either!” Ging exclaimed, a little too enthusiastically than he had planned. “I mean, they are alright, but boys are really cute.”

Pariston snapped his eyes back to Ging, whose own earthy eyes were sparkling. Pariston gave a soft smile full of understanding.

“Flamer,” He snapped playfully.

“We all knew you were gay, Perry,” Ging smiled. “Is it okay if I call you that?”

Pariston’s body automatically tensed, but once his brain realized that he wasn’t in danger, that it was just Ging, he was able to relax. He laid on his side to face Ging.

“Yeah. It sounds better when you say it,” Pariston blinked slowly, admiring Ging’s silhouette against the light of the TV. They both smiled dumbly at each other and laughed a little bit. Ging jerked forward, then retreated, finally tipped towards Pariston, giving him a soft and shaky kiss on the lips. Pariston’s heart jumped in his throat and his stomach knotted. He gasped and drew back, but after a moment accepted it and reciprocated the kiss. Just as he pressed against Ging’s lips he turned away, rolling over to the other side and covered himself with blankets. 

“We should go to bed,” He said abruptly. 

“Yeah,” Pariston said, laid to face the other side. He touched his lips gingerly, still feeling a tingle on his lips.

\--

Ging woke up a few hours later. Looking at his phone it was just passed 1 o clock in the morning. He stretched and stumbled to his feet, walking into the hallway. The nightlight in the hallway was blinding in his eyes as he squinted. He made it into the bathroom and covered his eyes as he flipped the switch on.

“Christ,” He muttered to himself, lifting up the toilet seat and unzipping his pants. He gave a relieved sigh as he pissed, gave a few shakes, and then flushed and washed his hands. He walked out of the bathroom with his eyes closed and bumped into something soft that smelled of alcohol and cheap perfume. “Oh, sorry,” he said as he went to stumble back to Pariston’s room. He placed a hand on his shoulder gently. 

“Trouble sleeping?” Angelica said.

“No, I just had to pee,” Ging replied. She wa only wearing a robe and had her hair pulled back into a ponytail. Despite it being so late, she still had makeup on.

“Come with me, I want to talk to you,” She said, turning and looking over her shoulder. Ging hesitated but followed her to her room. She sat on the bed and crosser her leg over her knee. Ging stared at the ground and stayed cemented by the door. She took a sip of wine from the glass on her bed stand. There were two glasses.

“W-what did you want to talk about?” Ging said. He was visibly uncomfortable. She was an attractive woman, but she was also his best friend’s mother. 

“I wanted to thank you for helping Pariston through this hard time,” She poured the other glass and offered it to Ging. 

“I’m underage,” He sort of yelped.

“But you are so mature for a 15 year old, Ging, come on, one glass won’t hurt you,” She crooned. Ging took the glass and took a sip. It tasted sort of good but made him gag a bit. Angelica patted a spot next to her on the bed. Ging carefully sat down. “The divorce with Pariston’s father is very hard on me, and I feel lonely now. Pariston is growing up, he’s not my little Perry anymore.”

Ging nodded absent mindedly. She put an arm around him and rubbed his back tenderly. He stiffened and swallowed hard. 

“I don’t think we should-” Ging started.

“Shh,” Angelica hissed. “Don’t you want to help me too?”

Ging nodded and looked away from her. He felt a hand on his thigh stroke up and down gently. He whimpered a bit as she pressed her lips against his neck. He gasped, which she took as a sign of pleasure and grabbed onto his crotch. He whimpered and tried to writhe away, but his vision was started to get a little blurry. Had he already drank that much? Or was there something else in it. He started to sweat and felt light headed as Angelica eased him down on the bed. She slid his shirt up and kissed down his chest which was rising and falling quickly. 

“I don’t feel well,” Ging mumbled, wiping the sweat off his forehead. 

“Just close your eyes, I’ll take care of you,” she said. She kissed across his hips and slid down his pajama pants and boxers. His dick was partly erect, which Pariston’s mother took this as a green light. She licked around the head and Ging tried to cross his legs, but she has laid in between them. Ging groaned and arched his back, in part trying to get away and also because it felt good. Angelica moaned as she wrapped her lips around Ging and started to suck. 

“W-what-” Ging stumbled over his words. 

“It feels good, doesn’t it? Relax, Ging,” She said. He sat up on his elbows and struggled to focus. He laid back down and closed his eyes, everything going black. 

He woke up a few minutes later, sitting upright abruptly to find Angelica licking his semen off her lips.

“Wow, you had a lot of cum, you must have really liked it,” she teased, opening her mouth to show Ging. He looked away as she swallowed it easily. 

“Can I… go to bed now,” Ging said, trying not to cry. Angelica sat up and let Ging put his pants back on. 

“Sweet dreams,” she said, patting his ass as he walked away. He snuck back into Pariston’s room and laid down, staring at the ceiling. He wanted to cry but he didn’t feel anything. He didn’t even feel the bed around him. He could still feel her fingers on his thighs.  _ I know it’s wrong, _ he thought.  _ That’s my best friend’s mom, but I felt so good. _ He rolled over on his stomach, planting his face into the pillow.  _ I’ve never been touched like that. Her mouth, her touch, it was so nice. And watching her swallow was… I don’t even know it was just amazing. She trusts me. I’m helping her. She said I was mature. This will prove to all the people that I’m not just a late bloomer. I’m actually an adult now! _ Pariston stirred next to him and rolled over to face him. Ging felt guilty and looked away.

\---

Kite stroked Ging’s hand as he started to cry. 

“It just got worse from there. Every time I would go over I would sneak away when Pariston was sleeping and fuck around with her. I didn’t even need alcohol after a while. She just made me feel so grown up and so wanted. And I mean, isn’t that like, the porno dream? To have sex with your best friends mom?” He squeezed Kite’s hand back. 

“I should have stopped it,” Pariston whispered.

“There was nothing you could do,” Ging assured. Kite felt Pariston touch his hand as well. “It was my fault.”

“No! Ging, no. Don’t ever think it was your fault. She was a predator,” Pariston said. 

“I thought I could stop it once Pariston and I started dating,” ging admitted, feeling his skin crawl. “I tried to break it off with her, but she kept getting me back into her bed with alcohol. It wasn’t even spiked! I was just weak. I thought I was so grown up, drinking and having sex just like everyone else. I’m so sorry, Kite. You probably hate me right now.”

Kite hushed him, “Shh, no. No, I don’t.”

Ging started to sob, covering his eyes in shame. 

“And one time, she caught Pariston and I fuckin’, and instead of being shocked she just joined in like it was nothing! She helped me fuck her own son. And I watched as she fucked him and I did  _ nothing _ ,” Ging growled out of anger in himself. Pariston was quiet. 

“I knew long before that she was abusing you because she stopped doing it to me. I was relieved. How fucked up is that? I was glad she stopped raping me and started raping my friend. And then it was both of us,” Pariston started to cry too. Kite held both of their hands to his chest so they could feel his heartbeat.

“That doesn’t make you a bad person, Pariston. You were trying to survive,” Kite said softly.

“She finally stopped when my parents found out. She was taken to jail. Perry and me tried to work it out but we just kept hurting each other. We didn’t talk to each other again until college,” Ging said. “I tried to kill myself a few times, and when I was in the hospital they gave me all sorts of medications and therapy, but those made me angry and fucked up my mood so then I got a green card. That’s also why I hate booze. I’m still paranoid I’m going to get drugged.”

The three sat in silence for a minute, quietly crying and holding each other. They were all so exhausted and emotionally spent, they fell asleep an hour later. The last thing said was Kite, “Thank you for trusting me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks yall I promise it will get happier!!


	9. Nightnoise

Kite waited outside of the classroom, trying to shake off the nerves of the exam. He felt like he did alright, but there was still that anxiety.He fidgeted with his pen as he flinched every time the door opened. Was it Ging? No, just more students. Kite’s long leg was shaking erratically by the time he felt someone standing next to him. Ging looked down at him, in his usual jeans and button down. 

“Hey, baby,” He said softly, his voice making Kite shiver. 

“Did I do alright?” Kite said, standing up and adjusting his bag. 

“You know Netero, he’ll grade it by next year if you’re lucky. C’mon, let’s go get ready to leave. I want to get out of this cold and into the warm sun as soon as possible,” Ging said. 

“You still want me to to come to your parents?” Kite asked, slightly embarrassed.

“Yeah! I can’t wait to see you with sun kissed skin,” Ging cooed, taking hold of Kite’s hand. 

“I’m more likely to burn,” Kite chuckled. 

 

Ging helped Kite pack up his dorm and make sure all of his animals were secure in Ging’s car. He brought Pitou in a carrier and Pouf in his cage. Meruem was in a cardboard box with shredded newspaper. Ging assured they would make plenty of stops to make sure they are all fed and able to go to the bathroom. Ging plugged in his phone and started out with some relaxing electronic music. Kite was curled up in the seat, looking out the window.

“Baby,” Ging sang, slipping a hand around Kite’s knee. Kite looked towards Ging with a forced smile. “What’s bothering you, darlin’?”

Kite whined and shrunk smaller. 

“I’m nervous about meeting your parents,” Kite muttered, tucking his hair behind ear. He knew Ging talked about him to his parents, but wasn’t sure all they knew. If they knew everything, there was a good chance they would hate him.

“Aw, they love you already. They’ve been wanting to meet you for a long time,” Ging said, pulling into a coffee shop. “Let’s take a break and get something to drink.”

Kite followed Ging into the cafe after making sure that the air conditioning was on and the animals were okay. He got a few bottles of water for the animals and then himself got a strawberry green tea lemonade. Ging just got a black coffee. They sat at the bar stool so they could see the car and Kite plugged in his phone to charge. Kite took a picture with Ging of them and their drinks and posted it to Twitter and Instagram. It was strange people able to have social media again, and to be able to save pictures of Ging and himself on the phone. It was strange having his own phone. It was strange that Ging didn’t know the passcode nor did he ever ask for it. They got back in the car and started off again. 

Kite eventually stopped responding to Ging and fell asleep. He had his long legs stretch out on the dashboard and his sunglasses over his eyes. Pouf was bobbing his head along to Ging’s playlist of classical music to help Kite sleep. He couldn’t wait to show him off to everyone on the island.  _ Look at my boyfriend _ ! He’d say.  He looked over at Kite and blushed. They weren’t dating yet. It was hard for him to grasp because all they had been through, but he never actually asked Kite out. 

Kite stirred awake as Ging drove onto the ferry. He sat up and blinked in the sunlight, his face having sleep lines from his hand. 

“Huh? Where are we?” Kite said, yawning. 

“Relax, we are on the ferry. We’ll be to my parents house in about half an hour,” Ging said, sticking his feet out the window. They were close enough to the island that the air was warm and breezy. 

“Oh,” Kite smacked his dry lips. “Good, I’m getting cramps from being in the car.” Ging reached over and grabbed one of Kite’s legs, bringing it over the armrest and massaging it. Kite rarely wore shorts, he thought it made his legs look too long, but since it was going to be warm on the island, he wore a pair of bright green cargo shorts that reached mid thigh and a loose white tank top that was almost the same colour as his skin. Ging traced his fingers around Kite’s knees and felt the prickle of his leg hair when he went against the grain. Ging gave little kisses on his shin and kneaded his fingers into Kite’s feet. Kite leaned up and rested his elbow on the arm rest, propping his head up. “Ging,” Kite said, a twist of a smile at the corner of his mouth. 

It was hard for Ging to look at him without feeling his heart in his throat. Kite batted his eyelashes. The sun was setting and was behind him now, making his hair glow like fire. 

“Y-yeah?” Ging stuttered. Kite tapped his lips, and a chill ran up Ging’s spine. “Oh, um… are you sure?”

Kite snorted, “I’ve let you taste my kidneys, of course I’m sure.” 

Ging flushed red and shrunk down in the seat. 

“Actually, how much time do we have left on the boat? I could go for a quick romp right now, especially seeing you in that tank top,” Kite said in a sultry voice. Ging covered his arms and slid farther down into the seat. 

“Not long enough!” He squeaked out. 

“Aw, then at least give me that kiss,” Kite said, pushing himself over to Ging’s seat. “Come here you gremlin.”

Ging shrieked as Kite pursed his lips and pressed against Ging making a comical ‘mwah’ sound. The islander squirmed and reached out, honking the horn in the process. Kite gasped and then started laughing, and Ging’s heart was beating in his ears. He wanted to take Kite in the front seat of his car, his feet sticking out of the window and onto the console as Ging kept his screams muffled with the seatbelt. He wanted it so bad, but he was still shy around Kite like he wasn’t with other people. The boat stopped and the bridge connected to let them cross. Ging was thankful, now he could focus on driving instead of Kite.

Except he couldn’t.

Every time he checked his blind spot he caught a glimpse of Kite’s tasty thighs or his gentle hands or his chest barely contained in a sports bra. Ging was vice gripping the steering wheel and smoking a cigarette in the other. Kite was leaning over to the back seat, giving Pitou some food and making sure Pouf was not flinging seed everywhere. Ging wasn’t sure if Kite moved a certain way on purpose, but it was definitely working. His ass was right next to Ging’s face, so close that he if moved his head he would be face cheek to ass cheek. 

“Kite…” Ging grumbled, doing a brake check. Kite lurched forward and caught himself on the headrest.  “Please sit down, you’re making me nervous.”

“When did you become McGruff the safety dog?” Kite jested, curling back into his seat and putting on the seat belt. 

“You never know when a deer is going to run out in front of you,” Ging said. “We’re almost there.”

Kite rolled down the window and stuck his head out, feeling the warm fresh hair go through his hair. He opened his eyes when the car stopped and they were in a rocky driveway of a cozy little house sitting on the ocean. Ging stared at Kite as he tied his hair up in a ponytail. 

“Welcome to Whale Island,” Ging said sarcastically.

Ging helped Kite settle in and let his animals get adjusted. Ging’s parents were not home yet and left a note on the counter saying they went out to buy groceries. He watched Kite set up Meruem’s tank. Every time Kite flipped his ponytail behind his back it made his stomach flip, the way he was sweet talking his bird and how gently he was with his can. The sunlight streamed in from the glass doors leading out to the deck, and made Kite’s skin glow. He leaned in the doorway casually, “I can show you my room.”

Kite tilted his head and followed Ging. They went up the stairs through the kitchen by the garage door they came in. Ging opened his door and shrugged, it didn’t look much different from his room at his apartment. There were clothes everywhere, unfinished art projects, and a large bed on the floor. There was a hood wooden dresser with a TV on it, and in each drawer was a different came system. Kite walked around carefully, trying not to step on anything.

“I didn’t know you paint,” Kite said, picking up a half finished landscape painting and admiring it.

“I only paint when I’m high,” Ging admitted, opening the window. “My parents smoke too, so it was never a big deal. I can only really relax and let the creativity flow when I’m toasted.”

“Is that why there is a banana in the water instead of a duck?” Kite laughed, pointing to a bright yellow blob on the painting. 

“No, it’s um...a metaphor. For life. Somehow,” Ging stuttered. “That’s a bong water stain in the corner. Like I said, creativity.” He took the painting from Kite and set it against the wall. Kite nodded and looked at Ging’s collection of rocks he had on the dresser, along with some bottles, shells , a pair of rusty sunglasses, and some mismatched jewelry. “That’s just stuff I’ve found while swimming.”

Kite turned around, “That’s a big bed.”

Ging nodded. 

“Where am I sleeping?”

“There, if you want. We’ll be sharing it probably with Pitou and Doobie but I don’t think you’ll mind snuggling with us,” Ging said. 

“...Doobie…?” Kite asked curiously. 

“Yeah, Doobs, my dog. He’s outside, do you want to see him?” Ging pointed out the window. Kite lurched over and saw a white spot waddling around the fenced in yard. “Doobs, come ‘ere.”

The white blob turned around and started running towards the window. He was very elongated, with a sausage like body with stumpy legs. He was a mutt of some sort, and had a green collar on. He stood under the window and barked, wagging his tail. 

“He’s pretty cute!” Kite admitted, cooing at him. Kite straightened his back and loomed over Ging, his breasts right at eye level. Ging could see his bra peeking out the top and sides of the tank top, just a plain peach coloured sport bra. Kite’s neck was unhidden  from his hair, and his skin was misted with perspiration. Ging blushed and looked down at his feet, leaning against the dresser for support. Kite noticed his gaze and stepped closer. “What are you looking at?” He teased. Ging shrunk against the furniture and looked away. 

“N-nothing, I was just thinking if you’re hot we can go swimming,” Ging said, his mouth dry. Kite but his hands on the edge of the dresser, leaning closer to Ging. He was trapped. 

“Am I hot, Ging?” Kite said, his breath tickling Ging’s ear. He was silent, feeling Kite’s chest press against him. Why did he feel so comfortably powerless? He was pinned, there was nothing he could do to get away, and yet he welcomed it. He looked into Kite’s eyes right before they closed as their lips met, their skin sticking together. There wa a sigh of relief from both of them, Kite but his hands around Ging’s neck and he cradled Kite’s tiny waist. The dresser scooted back a bit under the weight, causing Ging to gasp. Kite took the opportunity to slid his tongue in. Ging’s knees went weak as Kite let out a moan. He pulled away to get a breath, licking his lips and looking at Ging like a predator. “That’s a big bed.” Kite repeated. Ging didn’t have a moment to respond as the garage door open. 

“My parents,” Ging whispered. Kite stepped away and waited for Ging to follow, getting control of his legs again. They came through the door with arm fulls of groceries. 

“Hello!” the woman said. A man waddled in behind her. They were both short, surprisingly Ging was taller than both of them. They had the same dark skin and hair as Ging, and had happy smiles on their lips. Ging smiled and took some of the bags off her arms. 

“Hi, Ma. Hi, Papa,” Ging said. “This is Kite.”

Kite bowed and tried to force down his nerves. 

“Nice to meet you,” he said quietly.

“Is this your boyfriend you’ve been talking about? He’s beautiful!” Ma said, shaking Kite’s hand. 

“Welcome to the family,” Papa said. Ging bristled.

“We aren’t--He’s just a friend!” Ging blurted out, not convincing anymore. Kite was surprised by Papa’s grip on his hand. They walked into the kitchen and helped the parent’s unload the groceries.

“I took his Kappese class last semester,” Kite added, handing boxes to Ging. The kitchen was relatively small, with a small set of stairs leading upstairs and down to the living room. There was black marble countertop on the island in the middle where the stove was. The table and chairs were in front of glass windows with a view of the lake. It was very peaceful, with birds chirping outside and the wind creating soft waves. Ma clapped her hands together once the groceries were put away.

“I’m so glad to have both here! Now, we will be gone for about a week and a half, will you be okay?” Ma said. 

“Ma, please,” Ging whined.

“I just worry about you!” Ma said, patting Ging on the back. “Here is some money in case you run out of food, and here is the hotel we’ll be staying at-”

Ging put his hand up. “You gave me all this information last week, we’ll be fine. I live on my own, remember?”

“That’s probably what she’s worried about,” Kite chuckled. Papa handed a bag to Ging and clapped him on the shoulder. 

“Stay safe. We love you,” He said. Ging looked in the bag and blushed. 

“We don’t need--This is--!” Ging stuttered. Kite peeked into the bag and saw a large box of condoms. Kite raised an eyebrow.

“Large?” Kite said. 

Ging threw the bag on the counter and opened his arms. 

“Wow, it’s been so great seeing you again, don’t you have a ship to catch?” Ging exclaimed, visibly blushing. 

“You’re right, we should head out. See you soon!” Ma kissed Ging on the cheek and Papa gave him a quick hug as they walked out the door. Ging pressed his back against the door and sighed, looking at Kite with a sleepy smile. 

“Sorry about that,” Ging said, meeting Kite in the kitchen. Kite had a puzzled look on his face as Ging started to pull out dishes for dinner. “Does pasta sound good?”

“Ging, what are we?” Kite blurted out. Ging looked to the side and slowly filled a pot with water. 

“Uh...is this a trick question?” Ging turned on the stove. 

“If I’m not your boyfriend, then what am I to you?” Kite added. Ging stiffened as his heart leapt in his throat. 

“I didn’t think you wanted a relationship…” Ging said quietly. He tried to read Kite’s expression but it was just solid stares. Kite sighed and walked over to Ging throwing his arms around him. Kite just held him for a moment, Ging put an unsure hand on the small of his back as Kite sighed. Kite dragged a finger down Ging’s jawline, catching him by the lip. 

“I still am not sure if I love you yet,” Kite said, his voice low and sultry. “But I do know that I want you to fuck me.” 

Kite said the key word slowly so that Ging could understand. He watched Kite’s bottom lip slid from underneath his teeth as he said the ‘f’. Ging was hot with embarrassment, Kite looking down on him seemed to be so humbling. “Can you do that for me?”

Ging let out a whine as he propped himself against the counter. 

“T-the-” Ging started. Kite made an interested sound and pressed his knee in between Ging’s thighs. He gave a gasp and closed his eyes. “The water is o-over boiling…”

Kite looked over and saw the white foam spilling over the side of the pot. He turned the stove off and returned back to Ging, massaging Ging’s balls with his knee.

“Take off my shirt,” Kite whispered, leading Ging’s hands to the hem of his tank top. Kite’s skin was so soft and warm, Ging’s fingers felt like they never touched another person before. 

“N-no,” He said quietly, his instincts yelling at him.  _ Come on! This is what you’ve always wanted! _ Ging shook his head. “I’m not ready, Kite. I’m sorry, I just…”

Kite stepped back immediately and tilted his head. He made a disappointed sigh and turned the stove back on, walking to the other side of the counter, he sat looking away from Ging. 

“Do you not want me anymore?” Kite sulked.

“No, God, Kite. It’s not that. God, I want you so bad, believe me. I’m just… not feeling it right now,” Ging said, pouring the noodles into the pot. 

“Is there something wrong?” Kite asked, his voice now full of concern. 

“No, I just...I want it to be special,” Ging said, staring into the bubbling water.  _ I’m such a fool. _

“Oh,” Kite said, slightly surprised. “Okay. Well, let me know.”

\--

Pitou was curled up at the end of the bed while Doobie curled up against Ging’s back. They were watching a crime documentary and cuddling. Ging had one arm around the dog, and the other around Kite. He would lean over every once in awhile, usually during commercials, and kiss the top of Kite’s head, stroking his back. The bed was comfortable, it seemed to mold around them, but Kite was still fidgety. 

“Baby,” Ging said after Kite readjusted for the 10th time. 

“I’m really horny right now,” Kite blurted out. He whined as if it was painful. 

“I’m still not ready,” Ging admitted. 

“Can I at least jack off?” Kite said, squirming against Ging’s leg. 

“Y-yeah,” Ging blushed. Kite sighed with relief and rolled over to the side of the bed, digging through his bag. He pulled out something that was obviously phallic, a light purple colour and a condom.

“Is it okay if I do it here, or would you rather me leave?” Kite asked, putting the condom on the toy. He pressed the button to make sure it was still working and went through the vibration settings.

“You can… stay,” Ging replied, sinking under the blankets.

“Good, because I really want to find out who the killer is,” Kite said as he went back under the covers. There was a snap of his pants being taken off and his underwear tossed to the side. He threw a leg over Ging’s and pressed the vibrator to his hole. He was already plenty wet. He started off by rubbing small circles around his clitoris, scissoring it in between his fingers, and changing which side he put pressure on. Kite made little moans but mostly stayed quiet so he could hear the tv. Eventually the low hum of the vibrator started as he inserted it into himself with a gasp. 

“Is this bothering you?” Kite asked, voice weak and breathy. Ging looked over at Kite, who was already blushing. 

“No, keep going,” ging said hesitantly. Kite was relatively quiet, it was msotly just heavy breathing and few moans here and there. He could hear the sound of Kite’s wetness as he fucked himself with the vibrator and eventually it became too much to handle. Ging flopped to his side. “Can I--”

“Yes,” Kite said before he could finish the question. He grabbed at Ging’s hand and led it to the vibrator. Ging took a hold of it and started moving it slowly. He pressed the button on the bottom to change the vibration settings. “More,” Kite pleaded. 

Ging started to go a little faster and nipped at his neck. Kite was rolling his hips and it was hard to keep a grip on the vibrator. Kite reached over and gripped Ging’s hair, yanking his head back. 

“Wait, who did they say was the main suspect?” Kite said, still writhing with pleasure. 

“Who else? The husband was cheating on his wife with a coworker,” Ging replied, muttering in Kite’s ear. Kite nodded and asked Ging to continue. He started getting more frantic with his body as he was getting closer to orgasm, grasping at the sheets, sometimes accidently laying an arm on the dog. 

Kite put his hand over Ging’s which was slick with cum and lube from the condom. 

“Wait,” he breathed, taking the vibrator out of him with a pop. He turned over and tucked his knees under him so his ass was on display. “I like it better like this…” He mumbled into the pillow. Ging traced over his labia with the vibrator and plunged it back inside him. Kite let out an immediate response, gasping and throwing back onto Ging’s hand. “Yes, oh god, yes--!” Kite shoved his face into the pillow. 

Ging moved behind him so he could see better. Kite’s thighs were slick, he was absolutely dripping. Ging gripped one of Kite’s asschecks for support as he thrusted the toy into Kite. He made a pitiful whine, as arched his back. 

“This okay?” Ging asked, admiring Kite’s glistening genitals. 

“I’m going to cum,” Kite purred, clenching his legs together. “I wish it was your cock inside me.”

“Soon enough, baby,” Ging slapped Kite’s ass and turned the vibrator to the highest setting. “You gotta be a good boy first and cum for me. I want to see how bad you want me.”

Kite’s body tensed as he called out, biting into the pillow. He sighed, his hips dropping and lifting his head up for air. Kite stretched his leg out and pressed his foot against Pitou, but she couldn’t care less.  Ging took out the vibrator and turned it off. The condom was almost white with Kite’s cum alone, and it was hard to get a grip to take it off. Kite laid there in the afterglow, lifted his hair off his neck and throwing it over top his head. 

“That was… good,” Kite said, licking his lips. Ging smiled and got a box of tissues. 

“Can I clean you up?” Ging offered. 

“Oh, you don’t have to,” Kite said, sort of embarrassed by how messy he was. Ging shrugged and got in between Kite’s legs, wiping him clean. It was an oddly intimate moment, but not in the way it was genital touching, but in the way that Ging looked fondly down at Kite as he bundled up the tissues and threw them away. Kite put his underwear back on and flopped onto the bed. Ging quickly curled up to him, being the big spoon. And gave him kisses on his shoulder. There was a soft snore and a grumbled, but it wasn’t from either of them. 

“He slept through the whole thing,” Kite whispered, gently patting Doobie’s head.

“That will come in use later,” Ging said, kissing behind Kite’s ear. “Turns out it was the girl the husband was cheating on the wife with.”

Kite scoffed, “How original.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was based off a real life event ny'all needless to say my dog doesn't look me in the eye anymore


End file.
